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Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged

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Those who are born immortal know instinctively how to cope with it, but not Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged, who has come to hate all immortals and their arrogance. He becomes, ironically, even more arrogant, and he goes to funerals with joy and makes arrogant jokes about mortality. Wowbagger is immune to all other mortal concerns, such as Afterlife, futility and other such issues. Wowbagger knows that being immortal leads to severe boredom, so he manifests a lifelong quest for himself, one that will drive him on forever - he insults the Universe. He will insult every single being in it, one by one, and alphabetically. People have pointed out to him that such a nature is impossible, but he looks them in the eye and says "A man can dream can't he?"

Wowbagger appears first in Life, the Universe and Everything when he gatecrashes the aftermath of the Krikkit Robots attack on Earth's cricket court in Lord's, London. Wowbagger makes his way up to a dying man named Arthur Philip Deodat, and tells him he is a "no-good mumbo nothing. I just thought you should know that before you went!" Wowbagger had appeared to Arthur Dent on prehistoric Earth, and insulted him by telling him "you're a jerk, Dent, a complete asshole!" then Wowbagger ticked his box, snapped "Don't give me that," to an angry and confused Arthur, then left. Arthur spent his evening swatting flies, which also had a bad evening, and thinking of what he wanted to insult Wowbagger about.

Anyway, Wowbagger flies off into the outer reaches of the Galaxy and summons his ship computer which tells him they are going to a distant world three weeks' journey away. Wowbagger is going to meet a small slug, of the genus Ar-thur-phi-lip-denu and is going to insult it by calling it a "brainless prat."

Wowbagger also makes a comedic return on planet Krikkit, when Arthur is walking through the fields and suddenly an alien ship lands in front of him, and its pilot gets out, and says his name, then frowns, and Wowbagger says "I've done you before haven't I?"


Wowbagger is sophisticated, because he loves to be clean, he was obviously rich because of all his expensive soap. He wears luxurious black robes tinged with gold, and flies a state of the art ship. He is arrogant, cold, officious, and brutal in his ventures, and because of his immortality, he considers himself (perhaps rightly) above all other creatures.

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