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I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem...
Aw hell
It's exactly what it seems.
~ The protagonist describing himself.

The unnamed Protagonist is the main character and villain of the song, "Such Horrible Things" by the band Creature Feature.

Throughout the song, the character describes all the horrible stuff he has done in his life to the audience and admitting that although he deserves the most gruesome of deaths, he was happy with all of his crimes. Also, he tries to admit he's not a bad man despite his heinous acts, but changes his mind at the last second and fully admits that he really is as bad as people say. He is currently 18, and in solitary confinement as he is narrating all the crimes he's committed in his life. From the day he was born, he scorned his parents' name, and over the years would eventually drive them both insane and ruin their lives. He experienced his first act of hostility by biting the nurse that delivered him. He refers to his birth as a curse, though whether or not he meant this literally can be up to speculation.

Heinous Acts

Age 2-Poured super glue into his father's hair, forcing him to cut it all off.

Age 4- Stabbed the mailman's hand with a knife as he put mail through the door slot.

Age 6-Tricked his neighbor's son into playing hide and seek with him in the woods with the intent of getting him "forever lost". And he apparently succeeds in doing so. It can be assumed that the child never found his way out of the woods and died of starvation.

Age 8-Burnt his house to the ground simply because he hated its color.

Age 10-Pretended to drown so he could scare the people who came to rescue him and laugh in their faces.

Age 12-Pushed his sister down a well, most likely killing her, just to boost his self-esteem.

Age 14-The character doesn't seem to remember doing much, but after thinking it over, he remembers "...that one time". During 50 seconds without narration, you can hear screams and car noises in the background, implying that he may have started a car accident.

Age 16-Shoved his brother down a hole and buried him alive, nearly killing him, because he found him to be dull. It was for this crime that he was finally caught and put in an asylum.

Videos

Creature Feature - Such horrible things lyrics05:51

Creature Feature - Such horrible things lyrics