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Somali Pirates

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Somali Pirates
The Pirates of Somalia are a group of terrorists of the seas off of Somalia. These pirates have been noted for sinking ships and killing civilians in the country. There is no proper government in Somalia.

History

After misinterpreting the current pirate pandemic in Somalia as the return of classic mythological piracy, Cartman uses his mother's credit card to book a trip to Somalia for him and his 'crew' (Cartman himself, Butters, Ike, Clyde, and Kevin). After a flight from Denver to Miami to Cairo and then a 49-hour bus ride, the boys arrive in Mogadishu. Once there, however, Cartman and the boys witness the exact opposite of their expectations as Somalia is a rugged, unpleasant impoverished state rather than being a tropical paradise. The boys ask where the pirates are then arrive to their hideout, only taken hostage without their knowledge, as the pirates all speak Somali. The pirates take the boys out to international waters, where they are ransomed to a French luxury liner for 5,000 Euro. Once on board, however, Kevin uses a faux-lightsaber to hijack the vessel from her French crew, stereotypically portraying the French as cowards. After returning to Mogadishu with the captured vessel, Cartman and the boys are finally accepted by the pirates. Cartman starts then start fashioning them into a stereotypical crew and sings a sea shanty "Somalian pirates we" with them. Meanwhile, the French crew is rescued by a NATO vessel, and NATO, horrified that the pirates had a lightsaber, order more forces to the Horn of Africa.

Meanwhile, back in South Park, Kyle realizes that his brother Ike has run away to Mogadishu with Cartman and the other boys. He had earlier convinced Cartman to go to Somalia in hopes of never seeing him again, thus inadvertently shipping off his own brother. He then sets off for Mogadishu to bring his brother home. Once Kyle arrives he is taken captive by the pirates and held hostage. Cartman and his gang demand 10 million Euros for Kyle's release, and Kyle tries in vain to convince Cartman that Somalia is not the paradise Cartman claimed it was. Later, one of the pirates, Guleed questions Butters and Ike for wanting to become pirates, as he explains that he himself never wanted to be one, but had to out of desperation as his family and friends were dying. Realizing they had misinterpreted the pirate's life, the boys renounce their pirate activities, angering the evil Cartman, who threatens them if they dare to leave. The US military, sitting off the coast, has snipers lined up to attack. Cartman tells all of the boys that they can never leave because they are surrounded by his pirate allies who, a few seconds later, are all killed by the snipers. Defeated, he curses at the massacre.

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