Primitive! You will be no sport at all. I have no alternative.
~ The Captain to the crew
We have made some improvements to your craft. Now at least you may prove to be of some small amusement.
~ The Captain to the crew
See you in Silicon Hell!
~ The Captain's last words.

The Simulant Captain is the antagonist from the Red Dwarf episode Gunmen of the Apocalypse. He is a Simulant with two sets of eyebrows and commands the Battle Cruiser. As every Simulant, he deeply hates humans.

He is portrayed by Dennis Lill.



The Captain and his Simulant Henchmen travel the space looking for prey worthy of their mettle. When they meet Starbug, the Captain scans the smaller ship, only to discover there are humans abroad. He sends a message to them and asks for identification. Lister tries to convince him that his sensors are wrong and pretends to be Tarka Dal, a Vindaloovian ambassador who also hates humans. Unfortunately, it fails when the Captain teleports himself aboard Starbug. Disgusted from "a human, a humanoid, a hologrammatical human and a mechanoid who is a slave to humans", he stuns them all.

The Captain doesn't want to simply kill the Red Dwarf crew, but wants to play with them. Within three weeks they are sleeping, the Simulants upgrade the drive interface and engines, add laser cannons and less squeaky pilot's chair. When the crew wakes up, they are surprised to learn the Captain upgrades Strabug only to have a challenging opponent to fight. He considers Starbug would run away.

However, the Cat suggests to fight and the rest of the crew agrees. They manage to hit the Simulants' engine core. Unable to return fire, the Captain refuses to give up. He orders his lieutenant to hack into Starbug's Navicomp and to infect the computer with the Armageddon Virus, which aims Starbug at a nearby moon and locks all controls.

The Captain manages to promise to see the Red Dwarf crew in Silicon Hell and then his Battle Cruiser explodes, killing all Simulants abroad.

Behind the Laughter

  • The Simulant Captain was portrayed by Dennis Lill who also played Death, another villain from the same episode. They both bad guys look similar, so it is possibly the Captain created the virus in his own image or Kryten's subconscious made his opponents look alike.