Hello? Evil psychopathic droid in the room!
~ Sim Crawford

Sim Crawford is the antagonist from the Red Dwarf episode Trojan. She is a Simulant servant which deeply hates humans.

She is portrayed by Susan Earl.



Crawford works as a mechanical servant abroad the Columbus 3 for many years. In time her hatred to humans grows so big that she kills the whole crew, except for the hologram Howard Rimmer. She claims him that the laser attack was caused by unknown attackers. She then helps him to send out a distress call and is then bring aboard the SS Trojan along with him where they meet the Red Dwarf crew. When Arnold Rimmer to be a captain of Trojan, Howard experiences a resentment attack of his own and gets incapacitated. Pretending to be looking for medical help, Crawford teleports herself up into a munitions store and gets a gun.

She then holds the crew at gun point, revealing her truth nature and killing the Columbus 3's crew. During that, Lister gets really angry, as he has been waiting on the phone to complain about the Stirmaster's service. However, when he is finally allowed to, Crawford refuses to let him get the phone which is within his reach. Lister decides to ignore Crawford and divides for the phone, leading Crawford to start shooting at them. To save Lister and his brother, Howard jumps in front of the energy blast that hits his light bee, mortally wounding him. This is a chance for Kryten who grabs a drive full of both Rimmers' resentment and throws it to the Cat who stands behind unsuspecting Crawford. The Cat feeds it into Crawford's neck-port, causing her system to overload, so she freezes.

Later, Lister uses her quivering form to stir his hot drinks. As she hasn't appear since that, it is unknown how long time Lister uses her this way.


  • In opposite of other Simulants (Simulant Captain, for example) Crawford has only one pair of eyebrows.
  • Before her overloading, Crawford's hands appear to be human in appearance. However, when Lister uses her to stir his coffee, her hands looks more like Kryten's. It is possible they were replaced with one of Kryten's spares.