|“||Read a bloody dictionary!||„|
|~ The Silastic Armorfiends to Hactar|
The Silastic Armorfiends of Striterax are antagonists in the third novel in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, Life, the Universe and Everything.
The Silastic Armorfiends of Striterax were an insanely aggressive race of people who came from the planet Striterax, and that was just the name of their race. The name of their army was something horrendous. Back twenty billion years ago, the Armorfiends wanted to end all life when the Galaxy had just begun, so they made a bomb which would connect every bit of sun with every other sun and turn the whole Universe into a giant supernova. The Armorfiends asked Hactar, a gigantic sentient computer, to make the bomb for them but Hactar was shocked at the bomb, because he knew it was a mad idea, so he took the liberty of making a flaw into the bomb so it didn't detonate.
Attempts at ending life
The Armorfiends were furious and pulverized the computer. They thought better of it, and pulverized the bomb too. The Armorfiends were so aggressive and violent that they carried weapons all the time and even police and teachers needed guns. They were involved with many other conflicts and needed the bomb.
The Armorfiends got so angry when the bomb failed that they blew up two other races, and then blew themselves up, which was a relief to every other race in the Galaxy, specially potatoes, because the Armorfiends had to punch potatoes twenty minutes a day to become less aggressive, but they realized they could just shoot the potatoes instead.
Being a race from the dawn of Time, the Armorfiends lived on as bogeymen and a warning for other races not to become too warmongering. The Armorfiends' legacy survived and they became recorded in Galactic History. However, their leader, Hactar, survived in spirit form, and he was able to manipulate a planet, Krikkit, into becoming warlike.
Little is known of the Armorfiend's nature, but its suspected they were arrogant, warmongering jerks, because their entire planet was reduced to war bunkers, demolished cities, and smouldering wastelands, and they lived and squabbled in the bunkers, showing their warlike nature. The Galaxy breathed a sigh of relief upon their demise.