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Sheriff Falshed

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I'll - I'll see you in green Hell!
~ Sheriff Falshed

Sheriff Falshed is the most recurring antagonist of The Welkin Weasels trilogy, although he is obviously a villain for most of the trilogy (sometimes nearing a supervillain) he redeems himself in book three and becomes an anti-hero, then a full true hero in his own right. As through most of the trilogy he is a villain, though, this is all his evil deeds here.


Sheriff Falshed was presumably born in the West of Welkin, given his fondness for that region. He was of the noble stoats, who were by birth richer than the serfs, and he valued his position and never settled for anything less. He despised serfs and all below them.

Sometime before the trilogy, he was ordered by his boss Prince Poynt to hunt down anyone who would not hunt for meat for Prince Poynt by right of law, and Sheriff Falshed noted that one weasel named Sylver refused to acknowledge Poynt's regality. So, Prince Poynt got furious, and ordered Sheriff Falshed to force Sylver to obey him, or die.

Thunder Oak

Sheriff Falshed is mainly a comic villain in this book. He first appears in the very beginning. Sylver suspects that Lord Haukin's news is that the Sheriff is attacking, but it is simply that Prince Poynt wants him arrested and Sylver will have to leave Halfmoon Wood, his home. However, Sheriff Falshed does attack, with a full army of stoats. The attack is initially successful, with Sheriff Falshed and Sylver exchanging comedic insults, but Bryony the weasel orchestrates a defence mechanism which has the attacking stoats be attacked by ant hives, which drive them insane, so they desert Falshed despite his pleas for them to stay, and he even threatens deserters with death if they return.

Sheriff Falshed is caught by Sylver, and the weasels gloat in their victory. They strap him to a tree and leave him overnight when they party and have a good time, but eventually they strap him to a raft and send him downriver. Sheriff Falshed has several misadventures, such as battling through stupid badgers, water voles, otters and Rats, but Falshed eventually makes it, exhausted but alive, to Castle Rayn, home of Prince Poynt, which he says he never wants to leave ever again.

Falshed stays in the castle through most of the book. He is bullied mercilessly by Prince Poynt for failing to catch Sylver. Despite hanging Falshed up by his tail on the battlements overnight as a cruel form of torture, Poynt welcomes Falshed in when his punishment is over, for a talk.

Falshed is set out to hunt Sylver down through the remainder of his quest. He almost catches him outside Halfmoon Wood, where Sheriff Falshed meets Magellan the fox, who he is afraid of. Such is Falshed's fear he passes a message to a sentient walking statue, who tells Sylver to watch out for Magellan, who he fights and kills.

Sheriff Falshed tells Prince Poynt a dark and gloomy tale of how Magellan is killed by Sylver in a dark wood, to which Poynt says he wants to be left alone, because his birthday reminds him of his brother, who he killed for the throne.

Castle Storm

What's your favourite colour?
~ Sleek the otter to Falshed
~ Sheriff Falshed comically answers
Oh. Mine's orange
~ A startled Sleek's reply

Sheriff Falshed plays a much bigger role in this book. He is smarting from the humiliation in the last book and wants to redeem himself in Prince Poynt's eyes. He first appears when the Rats are besieging the Castle, and Sylver arrives, so he thinks, to an amnesty with provisions to save the stoats. However, the cruel Falshed and Poynt deny they ever said an amnesty, and arrest the weasels, locking them up as traitors. However, Mawk tricks the jailer, and they escape through the canals underground.

To his utter dismay, Sheriff Falshed is forced to follow the weasels - even the jailer mocks him saying none lived by going through the river. However, Falshed has good fortune - he survives the rapids, and meets the same otter tribe Sylver met. Falshed pretends to befriend them, including Sleek, the young otter, and Falshed offers the otters riches if they let him go, on Prince Poynt's word. The otters do let him go, and then he feels bolder upon doing a business deal with the otters, and he begins singing out loud. However, Falshed is unaware he is passing through a bat colony. The bats shriek at him to shut up, and then Falshed is spat out by rapids onto a gigantic waterfall. But he saves himself by using Sleek's fashionable robe as a parachute, and lives.

He has the misfortune - or perhaps fortune - to meet Sylver and his band at the lake shore, and because he is dazed and not a threat, the weasels leave him, but he meets them again when he is chasing after them. To his mind, when the weasels scream at him to paddle faster, because a monstrously gigantic dragonfly nymph is about to gobble him up from underwater, Falshed believes the weasels are beckoning him to his doom for all the wrongs he inflicted on Sylver. However, Falshed does realize what the weasels mean, and narrowly escapes being eaten.

On the way to the Castle Storm, Falshed fakes amnesia and mental retardation, acting foolish. However, he finds it painful and is relieved to be told to shut it. At the Castle, he meets High Priest Torca Marda, and Falshed remembers Torca Marda is his true boss. After being tortured by the evil high priest, Falshed says he will join Torca Marda to kill Sylver. He remains with the priest, and he witnesses dark magic done by the stoat, such as resurrecting the dead. Falshed is utterly afraid of the priest.

Sheriff Falshed has a mission set by Torca Marda, to journey to the Forest of Lost Birds and see if the two ferrets Rosencrass & Guildenswine really were murdered by Sylver. Initially agreeing that Sylver killed the spies, Falshed agrees to go, but upon seeing Sylver told the truth that the Forest itself imprisoned the ferrets, Falshed has a change of heart. He decides to redeem himself and become good at this point, from seeing that the High Priest never rewards anyone.

Windjammer Run

However, in the last book, Falshed becomes a villain again. He sets out on a sea voyage to kill Sylver forever. He is assisted by several mass murderers and criminals, and the wooden figureheads of Rosencrass & Guildenswine, who are now "alive" again. However, the two ferrets are unhelpful and mock him. Sheriff Falshed fears and hates the ocean, and is sea-sick all the time. Not to mention being harassed by Rats who are behind him. His most evil act in this book was to sink Sylver's ship when it was moored off a volcanic island. However, Sheriff Falshed cruelly dumped the figureheads of the ferrets off on an island of mongeese, and Sheriff Falshed proudly claimed all islands under Prince Poynt.

He sailed proudly back to Welkin and then when Prince Poynt was unfazed about all Falshed's triumphs in his name, Sheriff Falshed suddenly had had enough with being bossed and bullied by Prince Poynt, and so Falshed argued for awhile with him, then Falshed stormed up to him, and literally kicked him off the throne. Falshed had fallen in love with Prince Poynt's sister, Princess Sibiline, and Falshed married her, and announced a new and better order would start.

However, when the humans arrived back, Falshed had no choice but to surrender to the human king and queen. However, Falshed did so willingly, unlike Prince Poynt who would have fought the humans to remain king.

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