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This Villain was Headlined on December, 2015.

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Who's next?
~ Santa Claus as he looks over his "naughty list" at the end of the movie.

Santa Claus is the titular main antagonist of the 2005 horror comedy film Santa's Slay. In the movie, instead of being a friendly elf as normal, he is a nightmarish demon who is set on killing as many people as he can. He had an impressive body count of thirty-five victims to his name (this being a bare minimum, as more may have occurred off-screen).

He was portrayed by the famous WWE wrestler Bill Goldberg, who also played Bob Smith in Looney Tunes: Back in Action.

Biography[]

Background[]

According to the rather warped history of the "Santa's Slay" reality and the ancient Book of Klaus, the traditional Santa Claus myth is a lie and the jolly old elf is, in fact, an unholy child of Satan who was born of a virgin named Erica and thus somewhat of an Antichrist figure.

Christmas was the time of year that Santa committed mass murder (likely as a way of desecrating an otherwise holy holiday), thus this day of his bloodlust was called the Day of Slaying (roughly translated in the Norse/Norwegian dialect as "DagforMord" or "DagofMor").

That is until an angel who is one of God's powerful generals of Heaven's army came down to Earth in the guise of an old man and managed to beat Santa in a curling match in 1005 A.D. As punishment for his crimes, Santa was sentenced into delivering toys to the people he had formerly murdered for one thousand years.

Unfortunately, this imprisonment was not very effective, as it expired on the eve of 2005, allowing Santa to go on a bloody rampage, having had a thousand-year rest from his true calling as a destroyer of hope and bringer of death.

Santa's Slay[]

On Christmas Eve of 2005, Santa returns to the world as his true motive of a mass-murdering demon rather than a friendly giver of presents. He jumps down through the chimney of the Mason family and kills them all, stabbing Mr. Mason's hands to the table first, then using dark magic and other fighting skills to overcome all the people.

He kicks the family dog, incinerates Virginia's hair and drowns her in eggnog, he smashes in Gwen's head with a table leg, and kills Gwen's boyfriend with a karate kick, and then he kills Beth by throwing a star at her back and suffocates Mr. Mason with a turkey leg.

Santa flies his airborne sleigh, driven by monstrous Hell-deer, to Hell Township, Canada and proceeds to kill the locals in Christmas-themed methods, including burning a strip club frequented by adulterously crooked Christian minister Pastor Timmons. Santa engages in the Jewish Heaven sent deli and kills owner Mr. Green by strangling him with his own menorah. As Santa leaves the deli, he runs into Nicolas Yuleson, who he glares at menacingly.

Later on, Nicolas talks with his crazy grandpa, who hates Christmas, about why he always hated the festival. His grandpa tells him that Santa has never always been jolly and child loving and gives him The Book of Klaus, an Icelandic book in the Yuleson family's possession which details how Santa started life as the Antichrist, born of Satan's conception with a woman in Biblical times.

Santa was the Antichrist Jesus Christ came to warn people about, and in fact, the people prayed to Jesus every time there were murders around Christmas, committed by Santa. So, one year in 1065 B.C., God decided to intervene by sending an angel from Heaven which took the form of an old man. The angel confronted the young Santa, in the Pole, and confronted him with a curling match where if Santa's rock landed in the pool, then he could give the angel to Satan to roast forever.

If the angel's rock landed in the pool, then Santa had to cease the Day of Slaying. Santa, not knowing the man was an angel, arrogantly went first, and actually lost to the angel, enraging him and making him a bitter slave of God for a thousand years. Looking through the information, Nicolas realizes that this was a thousand years ago, meaning Santa can kill once more in 2005.

The Day of Slaying

The Day of Slaying.

Upon arriving at the scene of Mr. Green's murder, Nicholas is taken to the police station for questioning. He is bailed out by his love interest Mary "Mac" Mackenzie, just before Santa arrives and kills all of the officers. Santa pursues them in a police car, but they are able to escape (thanks to a shotgun, left in Mac's truck by her gun-crazed father). They flee to Mr. Helsgejt Yuleson's bunker, with Santa still in pursuit. Nicholas and Mac manage to escape, hopped onto his grandpa's snowmobiles, but Grandpa is run over by Santa's "Hell-deer" and killed before continuing his nightmarish frenzy through Hell Township's Old Hell Township as the Day of Slaying has merely begun.

The two teens hide from Santa in a local high school, hoping that Santa's powers will end when Christmas ends, but are eventually forced to confront him in the gymnasium. They are almost killed by Santa on a Zamboni but are saved by Grandpa, who is actually the archangel by his real name "Helsgejt" that originally defeated Santa. With Christmas ended and his powers gone, Santa flees in his sleigh but his "Hell-deer" are shot down by Mac's father with a bazooka. Pastor Timmons is found dead in a Santa suit and is presumed to be the killer, while Nicholas knew that Santa was still alive and knew he would return. Indeed, the real Santa Claus under his modern alias "Mr. Shatan" is boarding a flight from Winnipeg to the North Pole.

After that, Santa is seen looking over his Naughty List, when he looks into the camera and says, "Who's Next?"

Victims[]

  1. Miss Scribbles (dog) - Kicked into a ceiling fan by Santa.
  2. Beth Mason - Fainted and fell onto a wooden spike, which impaled through her neck.
  3. Jason Mason - Kicked into a cabinet of glass objects by Santa.
  4. Virginia Mason - Drowned in eggnog by Santa.
  5. Gwen Mason - Bludgeoned by Santa with a broken table leg.
  6. Taylor Mason - Christmas Star thrown into her back by Santa.
  7. Darren Mason - Turkey leg slammed down his throat by Santa.
  8. Mrs. Talbot - Killed in a car crash. caused by Santa.
  9. Vinny - Candy cane shoved into his eye socket by Santa.
  10. Unnamed Male Gold Diggers Bouncer - Strangled to death by Santa with a wreath
  11. Unnamed Male Gold Diggers Bartender - Stabbed himself in the forehead with a pickaxe after Santa reversed it on him.
  12. Unnamed Male Patron - Electrocuted when Santa kicked a stripper pole he was holding into a light.
  13. Unnamed Female Strippers #1 - Burned to death by Santa in Gold Diggers.
  14. Unnamed Female Strippers #2 - Burned to death by Santa in Gold Diggers.
  15. Unnamed Female Strippers #3 - Burned to death by Santa in Gold Diggers.
  16. Unnamed Female Strippers #4 - Burned to death by Santa in Gold Diggers.
  17. Unnamed Female Strippers #5 - Burned to death by Santa in Gold Diggers.
  18. Unnamed Female Strippers #6 - Burned to death by Santa in Gold Diggers.
  19. Unnamed Male Patrons #1 - Burned to death by Santa in Gold Diggers.
  20. Unnamed Male Patrons #2 - Burned to death by Santa in Gold Diggers.
  21. Unnamed Male Patrons #3 - Burned to death by Santa in Gold Diggers.
  22. Unnamed Male Patrons #4 - Burned to death by Santa in Gold Diggers.
  23. Unnamed Male Patrons #5 - Burned to death by Santa in Gold Diggers.
  24. Unnamed Female Parton - Burned to death in Gold Diggers.
  25. Twin Boy #1 - Heads blown off by explosive presents sent by Santa.
  26. Twin Boy #2 - Heads blown off by explosive presents sent by Santa.
  27. Mr. Green - Stabbed in the neck by Santa with a menorah.
  28. Captain Caulk - Crotch electrocuted by Santa with a taser.
  29. Unnamed Male Police Officer - Head slammed against a wall by Santa off-screen, body shown.
  30. Unnamed Male Police Officer - Shot by Santa with darts off-screen, body shown.
  31. Unnamed Male Police Officer - Stabbed in the sternum by Santa. off-screen, body shown
  32. Dick Zucker - Killed by Santa.
  33. Unnamed Male Caroler - Thrown by Santa.
  34. Unnamed Male Caroler - Bludgeoned by Santa with a cane.
  35. Unnamed Female Caroler - Thrown by Santa.
  36. Unnamed Male Caroler - Thrown by Santa.
  37. Unnamed Female Caroler - Thrown by Santa.
  38. Unnamed Female Caroler - Thrown into a wall by Santa.
  39. Grandpa - Head stomped on by Santa. Revived as an angel
  40. Pastor Timmons - Fell onto a flagpole when Mr. Mackenzie blew up Santa's sleigh.

Quotes[]

Yes Virginia. There is a Santa Claus.
Move, bitch! Get outta the way!
Why I'm here to stuff some stockings.
Ho, ho, hoes!
~ Santa before kissing a stripper under a mistletoe.
Naughty.
~ Santa Claus before burning down the Golddiggers strip club.
Uh oh, Grandpa got run over by a reindeer.
Why I'm just trying to spread a little Yuletide fear!
Who's your daddy? Father Christmas.
I'm Santa Claus, not f**kin' Dracula!

Personality[]

Santa Claus is characterized as a tyrant, displaying traits of brutality, violence, and cruelty. He lacks any sense of remorse in his interactions with others and his main objective is to track down and harm Nicholas and Mac. His behavior is marked by sinfulness, pride, and sarcasm, as evidenced by his callous act of running over grandpa. Throughout the movie, he takes pleasure in showcasing his power and taking the lives of individuals in various ways, showing a willingness to engage in any challenge presented to him. Santa also completely loathed his punishment of delivering gifts on Christmas instead of killing and reveled in resuming his slaughter once he was free. During this time he also came to hate children for all the letters for gifts they sent him over the years and expressed his desire to kill them all. He was also vengeful, swearing to the angel that bested him that he would track him down and send him to Hell once he was freed, yet continued to kill various other people for his sadistic pleasure along the way (whether they were in the way of his revenge or not).

However, he is aware that accepting a challenge and losing could lead to his downfall. Despite having upheld his end of the deal for many years after being freed, he quickly resorts to lying and attempting to damn the angel who had defeated him years ago. Interestingly, his homicidal tendencies seem to diminish outside of the Christmas season, possibly due to a pragmatic understanding that he loses a significant portion of his powers for the remainder of the year.

Gallery[]

Trivia[]

  • The Day of Slaying/"Dag of Mor", Santa Claus' personal and true unholy holiday, can be translated from Norwegian to English as "Dag før Mord"/DagførMord" ("Day of Murder") and "Dødsdag" ("Day of Slaying").
  • Unlike the traditional Santa who has a dozen flying reindeer, this Santa only has one "Hell-Deer". In the flashback he is also shown to have atleast two elves who appear to also be demonic in nature. He does mention still having a wife (Mrs. Claus) who he describes as "one hell of a cook", hence his gut.
  • Santa is spanish for saint (hence Santa Claus is a alternative form of Saint Nicholas, with Claus being a german nickname for Nicholas), however it is also an almagram of Satan. Who is his father.

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