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Red is the secondary protagonist (who occasionally serves as the antagonist as well) of the Mondo Media YouTube series Dick Figures.
He is a mentally unstable, sex obsessed, party animal who almost never takes anything seriously. He wears a backwards red cap and is best friends with his roommate Blue, a calm guy who is the complete opposite of Red. His catchphrase is simply "Cuz I'm awesome!" and on numerous occasions, he has also been known to say "And you can go home." in response to the Fat Ugly Girl showing up in his life. He is also seen to be a very violent character, as he is seen killing a lot of people at Maulmart in the episode Flame War, smashing through the window of a church and slaughtering inoccent people with a katana in the episode Lord Tourette's Syndrome, "perfectly murdering" Broseph in multiple episodes. He is completely cruel to even his best friend who promised to stay with him for the rest of his life, only to be betrayed by Red being an alcoholic psychopath who ruins almost everything for him. Red has the superhero secret identity of Batman as well as a gender opposite version of him named Scarlett.
He is voiced by Dick Figures' creator Ed Skudder.
Red is a red stick figure with his skin color matching his name. Every outlined part of his body is red including his face and his clothing. The rest of his body is white. For clothing, Red wears a sideways cap.
Red is a sex obsessed party maniac who goes around all the time getting drunk, having sex, and swearing at everybody. He is a very loud and annoying person who has an in your face kind of personality. He is also extremely stupid and barely has any knowledge on anything in the world unless it's related to sex, drugs, and other things along those lines. He can get on Blue's nerves sometimes, but he is always there for him and is always a good best friend for him for a reason that Red himself has said more than once in the series: "Cuz I'm awesome!"
Scarlet is the female version of Red. In the episode "Chick Figures," Red is known as a stupid, drunken party girl named Scarlet. Her appearance, personality, and voice mostly resemble that of Stacy's, as she likes to drink a lot, and acts like how a slutty woman would. She is best friends with Lavender (Female version of Blue), but does tend to mess around with her sometimes. She has a boyfriend named Burgundy (Male version of Stacy) and likes to enjoy partying and drinking beer, but she always seems to mess events up.
Scarlet looks exactly like her male counterpart only with some differences. For instance, she has pony tails on the sides of her head that are much like Stacy's, she has eyelashes, boobs, and a skirt. Her voice is also difference and sounds like Stacy's. She looks like a combination between Red and Stacy sort of speak.
Scarlet is a sex obsessed, slutty, party whore who is obsessed with getting drunk and having sex. She is most of the time drunk and she often swears at people even if they're her own friends and she loves to sing about how sexy she is. She loves to have sex with boys ,especially her boyfriend Burgundy.
Hardcore Chore: After losing a bet, Red does Blue's (normally innocent) chores in twisted ways.
- Brings a loaded gun into a bank and threatens customers lives, when simply making a deposit.
- Goes shopping by again bringing a loaded gun, and violently telling everyone to put there supplies into his bag.
- 'Taking out the trash' by murdering Mr. Dingleberry, an innocent old man.
Lord Tourette's Syndrome: Tourettes lost his hat, and Red 'searches' a church, by murdering everyone inside, saying "No hat in there.. And no survivors."
Trash God: After the ants see Red as a god—due to all the trash he leaves out—Red takes advantage of this, and ends up physically eating a shrunken-down Blue.
Dick Figures: The Movie: Shows various antagonistic roles. Most obvious one being disloyalty to Blue.
We're Cops: Steals a police car and uses it as an excuse to commit numerous crimes. Including robbing a bank, and getting away with it by tricking the idiotic cops into thinking he and Blue are also cops.
Red Drunk Redemption: Shoots up a bar after realizing the bartender served him root beer, instead of alcoholic beer.
Camp Anarchy: Proves an obviously bad role model. By teaching violent behaviors to the small children.
Zombies & Shotguns: Randomly kills an non zombiefied character, for no apparent reason, and proceeds to utter, "The perfect murder".
List of Characters killed by Red
Red has killed a truly innumerable amount of people thought the show's run. For this list, a tragedy Red has caused (like destroying a building or sinking a ship) will only count as one single victim unless the casualties are countable. Also, characters who die frequently in the show (like Broseph, Mr. Dingleberry, and Blue) shall only be listed once.
- 1: A green man is killed with two shurikens thrown in his face (Flame War).
- 2: A pink man is shot in the face with two guns (Flame War).
- 3: A grey man with sunglasses has his neck snapped by Red's feet (Flame War).
- 4: A light green man is shot in the head (Flame War).
- 5: A dark green man with hair is chopped in half with an axe (Flame War).
- 6: A dark yellow man firing a Gatling Gun is killed when Red throws an axe at a shield. Causing the axe to cleave into the man's skull (Flame War).
- 7: A light green man with an eyepatch is blasted with a shotgun (Flame War).
- 8: An orange man with a beard is killed when Red hits him in the head with shotgun, breaking it into pieces on contact (Flame War).
- 9: A greyish purple man is killed with two pieces of the shotgun stabbed in his head (Flame War).
- 10: A knight of some sort is ripped in half (Flame War).
- 11: Any survivors in the store (except Pink) are presumably killed when Red detonates the building with dynamite (Flame War).
- 12: A Giant Turtle (called a Dragon) is slain and decapitated by Red and Blue (Traffic Jams).
- 13: A Tyrannosaurus Rex is killed with a futuristic gun by Red after he travels to the future (Steakosaurus).
- 14: Every other dinosaur on earth is also killed (likely in the same manner as the T-Rex) by Red (Steakosaurus).
- 13: A woman is accidently killed when Red shows her Kitty Amazing, causing he heart to literally melt (Kitty Amazing).
- 14: A green man is killed in the same manner (Kitty Amazing).
- 15: Same thing with an orange woman (Kitty Amazing).
- 16-27: A tour guide and 11 other people are killed by Red holding Kitty Amazing (Kitty Amazing).
- 28: An entire parade with people and animals are all killed by Red having Kitty Amazing (Kitty Amazing).
- 29: Mr. Dingleberry is killed when Red has Kitty Amazing, making his heart melt and making him fall down the stairs (Kitty Amazing). Mr. Dingleberry dies regularly in the show. But most of his deaths are in some way Red's fault.
- 30: Chad the police officer is killed by Red and Kitty Amazing. Although, his murder appears to be intentional (Kitty Amazing).
- 31: Kitty Amazing is killed (reluctantly) by Red when he places her in front of a mirror. Causing her powers to backfire and turn her to stone. He later destroys her when he uses her like a football (Kitty Amazing).
- 32-33 :An Ogre Is slain by Red with a sword. Blue also implies that Red has killed a bunch of other Ogres too (Role Playas).
- 34: Lord Tourettes is decapitated for playing a "F**K" (originally supposed to be a fable) (Role Playas). He also dies regularly.
- 35: The Castle Guard is killed with a crossbow (Role Playas).
- 36: Blue's pawns are all destroyed along with Red's in the conflict (Attacks of the Pwns).
- 37: A dark green zombie is killed unintentionally by Red when he shoots a bag of chips with a shotgun (Zombies and Shotguns).
- 38-41: 4 zombies (one of which includes the Fat Ugly Girl, who Blue calls
- 42: a "Boomer" (Really the Fat Ugly Girl; referencing Left 4 Dead) is blasted and killed with a shotgun by Red (Zombies and Shotguns).
- 43-44: 2 more zombies are unintentionally gored with a chainsaw by Red (Zombies and Shotguns).
- 45: Another zombie bites Red's chip bag (although it was trying to bite Red) and Red pulls it's head off (Zombies and Shotguns).
- 46: Broseph is gored in half with a chainsaw (Zombies and Shotguns) this is Broseph's first appearance in the show. And Red goes on to kill him in almost all of his appearances in the show. Such victims shall only be listed once on this list.
- 47: Everyone in a church is brutally slaughtered by Red with a katana (Lord Tourette's Syndrome).
- 48: Some people were presumably killed when Red tilted the Hat Factory (Lord Tourette's Syndrome).
- 49: A light blue inmate is killed with a single punch to the head (Fang Angels).
- 50: Some people were possibly killed when Red robbed a store (Fang Angels).
- 51-56: A group of Pirate Women lead by Pink are all killed when Red sinks their ship (Captain Red Rum & The Pina Colada Armada).
- 57: Some people are presumably killed when Red starts a fire in the apartment (Y U So Meme?).
- 58: Same thing when he lights fireworks in the apartment (Y U So Meme?).
- 59-61: 3 Natives are shot by Red (Sex Marks the Spot).
- 62-63: A Hooker (and some other people are presumably) killed while Red is firing a gun out the police car's window (We're Cops).
- 64-81: Red kills many of Earl Grey's butlers. One is destroyed with eye lasers, two are thrown into each other and vaporized with eye lasers, Another is flipped over and destroyed along with another with eye lasers, three that grabbed Red are thrown to the ground, and one is killed with eye lasers, another is head-butted, two are kicked down, another is bashed in the head, and finally six are killed when Red knocks them off him. 18 in all (Adventures of Batman & The Bloser).
- 82: Earl Grey is destroyed when Red shoots his eye lasers at a prism, the resulting light show destroys him and restores his victims (Adventures of Batman & The Bloser).
- 83: A fat WoW fan (presumably dies from cardio or depression) after Red crashes the internet lokking for "the perfect boobs" (Modern Flame War 3).
- 84-86: 2 Technicians are killed by Red with a shotgun (along with others possibly) (Modern Flame War 3).
- 87: A lot of people were presumably killed when Red made contact with Stacy's "perfect boobs" (Modern Flame War 3).
- 88: Zeus is killed when Red shoves him into the volcano of Mount Olympus (Zeusbag).
- 89-101: 13 people are killed in the gun fight that Red starts (Chug-A-Chug-A-Brew-Brew).
- 102-105: 4 more westerners are killed on the booze train. Two are shot, and the other two die when the train crashes (Chug-A-Chug-A-Brew-Brew).
- 106: The conductor of the train is also presumably killed (Chug-A-Chug-A-Brew-Brew).
- 107: An octopus is killed when Red stabs it with a fork (Pleasure Cruise).
- 108: Gelato Bete is killed when Red flips a switch that makes a large crate fall on top of him (Pleasure Cruise).
- 109-114: The six secret agents and everyone else on the ship is killed by Red neglecting to stop the bomb (Pleasure Cruise).
- 115-141: At least 27 Ninjas are all murdered by Red (Kung Fu Winners).
- 142: Shi Ba is killed after a long Kung Fu fight with Red (Kung Fu Winner).
- 143-155: 13 people are run over by Red's bad driving (Losing Streakers).
- 156-175: At least 20 people are ran over by Red driving Blue's car (Taco Tuesday).
- 176-188: 13 Slutty Women are killed when Red crashes Blue's car on the Lez (Taco Tuesday).
- 188-284: At least 96 kids are beaten (and most of them killed) by Red in the playground fight (First Day of Cool. This also is the first few minutes of Dick Figures: The Moviel).
- 285-286: 2 Street Artists are shot to death by Red for their burritos (The Red Devil).
- 287-289: Everyone on board a plane, a train, and a cruise ship are all killed by Red crashing Blue's car into the plane (The Red Devil).
- 290: Everyone in the city (including Blue and himself) are killed by Red's poor piloting of The Mech (GTA: Pacific Grim).
- 291: Some people were presumably killed during Red's implied alcohol rampage (Snowjob).
- 292-293: Two strippers froze to death when they gave a frozen Red a lap dance (Snowjob).
- 294: Some people were presumably killed during Red's Vodka Rampage (Das Vidiamond).
- 295: Some old people are killed when Red and Blue punch their way through their marathon "run" (Happy Birthdump).
- 296: An Olive Green Japanese man is killed when Red steps on a trap floor, making an axe decapitate him (Dick Figures: The Movie).
- 297-301: 5 Demon Ninjas are killed when Red smashes through a wall (Dick Figures: The Movie).
- 302-306: 5 more are murdered by Red during their escape. One is smashed through a ship, another is knocked into the water to drown, and three more are killed with a harpoon gun (Dick Figures: The Movie).
- 306-316: 10 French Police Officers are killed by Red during their chase in Paris. One is kicked off is bike, making him get run over by a SWAT van. Two are killed when Red makes them crash into traffic. Another crashes into a stand, and another is killed when Red kicks him off his bike, making it smash and kill him. One is whacked in the head with an umbrella, making him crash. Another is forced against a building to crash. Two more are killed when Red causes two SWAT vans to crash. And one more is presumably killed when Red crashes the SWAT van into a police car (Dick Figures: The Movie).
- 317: Some more people are presumably killed by Red during he and Blue's trip home.
- 318-332: 15 more Demon Ninjas are killed by Red inside the volcano (Dick Figures: The Movie).
- 333: Blue is Red's most frequent victim. Blue has been killed by almost all of Red's stupid antics.
- Red and Blue have been friends for a long time. In "Captain Red Rum & the Pina Colada Armada", their friendship is confirmed on Facester.
- Red is roommates with Blue.
- Red displays the ability to fly in many episodes, but rarely uses this ability when it's most needed.
- In He who Shall Not Be Maimed, and Role Playas, Red is a knight named Maroon
- He seems to be the only character that wears his cap backwards.
- There are two episodes where Red does not wear a cap. In "Panda Hat", he removes his cap when he talks up a woman, while in "Role Playas", "Fang Angels" and "Captain Red Rum & the Pina Colada Armada" he wears a bandana.
- Apparently, he owns a Katana and a pump shotgun, as they are always usually in his possession.
- He apparently is an alcoholic, as seen in Panda Hat.
- Red is Emperor of the Crimson Empire.
- He has only done good on 4 occasions:
- When Kitty Amazing kills people in the city, Red ends the cat's reign of terror by placing the cat in front of a mirror, which causes the cat to turn to stone.
- In "Attack of the Pwns", Red let Blue live and took the two jet packs with him to get out of the escape pod before they died a fiery death in the sun, but once they ran out of gas, he left him there to die.
- In "Role Playas", Red kills Black because he was attacking Blue.
- In "Lord Tourette's Syndrome", he helps Lord Tourettes find his hat but only for the treasure.
- In Camp Anarchy, Red revealed that he lost his virginity to a tree.
- Red's voice has been Auto-Tuned three times in the series, "A Bee or Something", "Bath Rhymes", and "Camp Anarchy".
- Judging by the picture in the episode "Butt Genie", Red's wish is to rule the world.
- Red is shown to have a talent in making up songs as he makes up an entire song in Bath Rhymes and a little rap in Camp Anarchy and another rap in Attack of the Pwns.
- He is the current leader of the Crimson Armada.
- His gameplay name is Maroon.
- He and Blue get into pretty heated arguments that could end up in war. (Attack of the Pwns)
- Red dislikes Lord Tourettes but in Lord Tourettes Syndrome he only helps him for the treasure.
- As of "Fang Angels", he has a criminal record.
- In "We're Cops", he carjacked a police cruiser.
- Red possibly has super-human strength because in "Lord Tourette's Syndrome" he could lift a building, in "Fang Angels" the barbell he lifted was a total of 20,000 pounds and in "Steakosaurus" he could lift the Proton Disintegrator with ease even though it is larger than him in length.
- Red is the captain of the Pina Colada Armada, whose crew consists of himself, Blue, Raccoon, and beautiful wenches.
- Red's friendship with Blue is confirmed on Facester.
- Red has a song on the D Figures Season 1 Soundtrack called "Yo Butt" in which Raccoon is the guest singer.
- Red has superpowers:
- Enhanced Strength as seen in Lord Tourrete's Syndrome, Fang Angels and Steakosaurus.
- Flying powers, as seen in many episodes.
- Laser Eyes in Sex Marks the Spot.
- Red has a Twitter page called Red_ImBatman.
- In "Y U So Meme?", his game tag in "Flame War!" is RedD3ATH.
- It is shown in Sex Marks the Spot that he hides his porn mags and boobie pics in a temple-like part of his home.
- He is a fan of the classic "strange stuff" as well as modern pornography, yet no one knows if he does not watch Internet porn.
- Red has Laser Eyes as revealed in "Sex Marks the Spot".
- This could be a reference to the lyrics to "Bath Rhymes".
- Red may have found a "love of the law" in "We're Cops".
- Scarlet is a shade of Red which is where Scarlet's name comes from.
- Although she is the gender opposite of Red, Scarlet seems to bear many similarities to Stacy. She has a similar hairstyle and physical appearance, a similar personality, and the same voice. This may be a reference to the fact that Red and Stacy are dating.
- She seems to be a combination between Red and Stacy sort of speak.
- It is rumored that Scarlet is Red's daughter in her adult years.