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Ralph (Married... with Children)

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You know, Kelly, I'm sure there is a lot more to you than meets the eye...Unfortunately, I don't really care about that part, so why don't you just put out or get out, okay?
~ Ralph to Kelly

Ralph is a villain in the 1980s/1990s/2000s television situation comedy Married... with Children. He appears in the 1992 episode T-R-A-Something-Something Spells Tramp. In the episode, Ralph abandons Kelly Bundy in the woods when she refuses his advances.

He is portrayed by Corey Feldman.

First scene

The scene starts with Kelly and Ralph in a car in a wooded area. Ralph pretends his car has run out of gas. Kelly points out that Ralph needs to stop the car before saying it is out of gas. Ralph says there would be no point because they both know the car is not really out of gas. Nevertheless, Ralph stops the car and then says the car is out of gas. This time Kelly believes him.

Ralph makes a sexual advance towards Kelly. However, Kelly rebuffs him saying that she wants to talk a little first. Ralph indicates he does not want to talk. Kelly indicates she won't make out without some talking. Ralph threatens Kelly to "put out or get out". Kelly pretends to go along with Ralph's sexual advances but instead punches him in the face and walks out of the car.

Ralph calls Kelly a tramp and drives away leaving her in the woods to walk home.

Second scene

Kelly made a couple of new friends in the woods (two other girls who faced the same situation as Kelly - "put out or get out"). Ralph drives back and offers Kelly and her friends another opportunity to make out with him. Kelly and her friends make Ralph believe they will fight over him first. Also, to make the fight more passionate they want Ralph to strip to his boxer shorts. The girls go behind some bushes to get the fight started while Ralph takes off his pants. When Ralph is in his boxer shorts he chases after the girls. However, he sees they are in his car and not preparing to fight each other. Ralph calls them tramps. Kelly looks at Ralph's boxer shorts and insults him back by stating his manhood is not enough for even one person. The girls throw their stilettos at Ralph and drive away.

Shortly after the girls are gone and Ralph is putting his pants back on, Bud Bundy sees Ralph and starts up a conversation. Bud learns that Ralph treated Kelly very badly on the date. Bud coughs on Ralph before telling him that he just got back from a date with a girl who had measles.

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