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Popsicle Pete (Parody)

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Popsiclepete

Popsicle Pete's infamous catchphrase

Popsicle Pete was originally an ice-cream mascot from the 1930s. On Cracked.com, however, he takes on a much more sinister role.

Biography

Origins

Popsicle Pete was originally a 13-year-old boy known as Carl McCready. One day, Carl received a letter informing him that he had been invited to New York to be a participant in the Typical American Boy Contest. Bizzarely enough, Carl didn't remember entering. Once he arrived in New York, it was revealed that Carl had won the contest and was to become the mascot known as Popsicle Pete. Popsicle Pete's adventures revolved around giving advice, popsicles and other merchandise to all the children he met.

Hell Breaks Loose

According to Cracked blogger Seanbaby, Popsicle Pete was driven insane by the monotony of his existence. He went on hiatus for a whole year before reappearing as something not entirely human. Popsicle Pete no longer gave gifts to people, instead he tormented them in the most horrific ways imaginable. At the end of each comic strip, he would utter in his now-satanic voice: "NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE!"

The Popsicle Twins

As mysteriously as he disappeared and reappeared, Popsicle Pete experienced another year-long hiatus. In his place were The Popsicle twins, Tim and Tess. Tim and Tess' adventures revolved around getting out of various situations using only popsicle merchandise. These comic strips seemed innocent enough, until Popsicle Pete made his cameo at the very end, implying that the worst was yet to come.

About Popsicle Pete

The Popsicle Pete parody series is published under the fictional title Man Comics. Each adventure is taken from a pre-existing Popsicle Pete comic strip with all the dialogue replaced. This had the unsettling effect of making it appear that Pete's victims had lost control over their facial expressions, leaving them smiling warmly whilst screaming in agony. The Popsicle Twins was left unchanged save for the last panel of each strip, which had Popsicle Pete standing behind the twins for no apparent reason. After each adventure there would be a page featuring several Popsicle Pete-themed merchandise. In Seanbaby's version these have been changed to severed body parts and other unsavoury items that no boy in a Golden Age comic would be seen using.

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