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Pastor Machine-gun

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  Pastor Machine-gun (translated from Pastor Metralhadora) is one of the characters from the humor site Mundo Canibal (Cannibal World). He was created with the objective of satirize the religious leaders who uses the faith of people to make money with it, and deluds people to believe that everything is a sin. He has a funny voice, and a funny way of speaking which is the same way that some religious leaders do in their cults, and some kinds of "special attacks" (like from games or cartoons) to represent the deluded vision of the people who believe the criminal religious leaders.
PossessedCMachine-gun

Possessed Clergyman Machine-gun

The "Special Attacks"

The attacks given to him are summoned by his "faith", making him very powerful, they usually are made by religious or famous figures.

  • Machine-gun finger - The main of his "attacks", he uses his forefinger to shoot like a machine-gun.
  • Faith beam - A light beam that comes from the palm of his hand, it has many effects.
  • Exorcism - He can exorcise "evils" from people saying a lot of senseless words, just like religious leaders when speaking in latin.
  • Multiply - He ask for Chessus' power to multiply something that he likes saying: "Multiply it, Chessus!"
  • Meteor of Chessus - An attack where he summons Chessus (his funny way of calling Jesus, pronounced sheesus) to send meteors with ugly faces, wings and halos to attack the "sinner".
  • 12f40fcb e0a5 d3ee 9d21 b512dee5d8fd aa424cee

    Clergyman Machine-gun using Meteor of Chessus

    Meteor of Bill Gates - The same as Meteor of Chessus, but Chessus and the meteor will have Bill Gates' face. This ones seem to be just sonic bombs, just to scare someone.
  • Cyclops' beam of Chessus - He will summon Chessus, this time with the glasses used by Cyclops from the Marvel comics, and use the beam in a blind person, turning both of the person's eyes into one that sees normally.
  • Titanic of Noah - An attack where he summons a giant titanic with the chrisitan figure Noah and animals to attack the "sinner".
  • Glorified Vaccum Cleaner of Ammy Wine House - An attack where he summons an ugly version of Amy Winehouse with an drugged look, to use a giant vaccum cleaner to get all drugs from the body of someone and use them herself.
  • Hadouken Moses - When he uses this, he will summon the christian figure Moses dressed like the character Ryu from the Street Fighter game series, and cast a giant beam hadouken in a "sinner" to purify him from addiction to videogames.
  • Lek-Lek Machine-gun .50 of Chessus - Chessus will appear dressed as Rambo with a giant machine-gun that can heal diseases.
  • Chessusmon - A version of Chessus using a shell like the pokémon Blastoise, that can unleash an attack called "Blastoize", which turns devils into money. Ironically, the suffix "-mon" is given to digimons, not to pokémons.
  • "Fucking Hell! I already said that none is to be allowed to win in this shit game" of Chessus - Eliminates any chance of victory in video games and takes victory away from those who already have it.

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