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Myron Larabee

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How about these stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole; "Dear Santa, Can you send me a bike and a slinky?" No! Your father's been laid off!
~ Myron Larabee

Myron Larabee is the (former) main antagonist of the 1996 live action Christmas film by 20th Century Fox, Jingle All the Way. He is a fast-talking, persuasive, lunatic, and crazy postman who competes with Howard Langston, the film's protagonist, as the two men are trying to get a TurboMan toy for their sons on Christmas Eve.

He was portrayed by the comedian, Sinbad.

History

Myron first appears in the mall before it opens. He meets Howard Langston, a man who is trying to buy a toy called TurboMan for his son, Jamie. Upon meeting Myron, Howard learns he wants to buy a Turbo Man too for his son. But the man gives a long speech about the conspiracy theory behind the Christmas market, how overworked he is and nearly strangles a woman, while people stare at him, believing him to be crazy after he and Howard learn that the Turbo Man figures are all sold out.

He then competes with Howard, and later finds him in the public phone area, attempting to make a alliance with him, but fails. They both head to another mall where a Christmas competition is held, in which the prize is a TurboMan doll. They both fail, but Howard escapes and meets the Fake Santas. Howard comes across with him again in Mickey's Diner, and it is revealed Myron became a loser because his father was always letting him down and never gave him the Christmas gift he wanted.

They both go to a radio station where another contest is held, with a Turbo Man toy as prize again. Myron uses a mail bomb to threaten the DJ into giving him the Turbo Man doll, but it turns out that the studio only has a gift certificate, not an actual doll. He then takes and throws another box, which turns out to be a real bomb, which explodes and leaves both the room and the policemen all covered in smoke.

Later on, in the Christmas parade, while Howard is dressed as Turbo Man in the float for Turbo Man,  he is about to give the Turbo Man doll prize to Jamie, Myron kidnaps the Dementor actor and dresses as him, to get the Turbo Man doll prize of the parade. He chases Howard's son, and successfully gets the toy while both of them are hanging from a wire Christmas tree, but a hit from Howard's "Turbo-rang", knocks him down.

He falls on the police float, only to be surrounded by several police members, who arrest him and take the Turbo Man doll away. However, touched by how devoted he is to his own son, Jamie gives him the doll, and they reconcile as Jamie reveals that he has the real Turbo-Man.

Myron's fate is never specified. It is likely that he and Howard became friends, and he gave his son the Turbo Man doll on Christmas Morning.

Quotes

Whoo! Is there a problem, officer? Hahahahaha!
This is a SICK world were living in, with SICK people!
Look, we get one chance a year to prove we're not screw ups and what do we do? We screw it up!

Gallery

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