|“||Right, like you don't get told that every day of your life, with your perfect blond hair, that Kewpie doll voice that drives the boys crazy. And what eight-year-old wears pearls? Bookworms like me can't stand party girls like you.||„|
|~ Ms. Cantwell's reason to hate Lisa Simpson.|
Ms. Cantwell is Lisa Simpson's new substitute teacher and the main antagonist in The Simpsons episode "Black Eyed Please".
She was voiced by actress Tina Fey.
Ms. Cantwell becomes Lisa's substitute teacher who does not warm to Lisa for some mysterious reason. From the begginning, she ignores all Lisa's attempt to understanding and gives her a "B" even without looking at her homework, while Ralph gets an "A" for his. Later, Ms. Cantwell blames Lisa for trying to "get ahead of the other children" when she doesn't stop reading during free play time. As a punishment, Lisa loses her joeys which are given to some random students.
Sad Lisa asks her parents for help, but their visit at school only leads to more bullying and Ms. Cantwell sends Lisa to a detention class, warning her not to tell on a bully anymore.
It is eventually Edna Krabappel who save Lisa. After Homer convinces her to help his daughter, Edna brings a new student to Mr. Cantwell's class: Bart Simpson. During just a 2-minute bathroom break, Bart manages to destroy the classroom and post a video of her in the bathroom, grumbling about how she hates Lisa. That is enough for Ms. Cantwell to leave the school as fast as she could. However, before she can drive away, Lisa catches her up to find out why the teacher hates her so much. At first, Ms. Cantwell claims it was something that just happened, but then eventually admits she actually hates all pretty party girls with blond hair and voice all boys love, as she can't compete with her due being a bookworm.
- She is similar to another substitute teacher, Ms. Kelp, who also bullied Lisa.
- She can be considered Elizabeth Hoover's evil counterpart. Miss Hoover is sometimes arrogant and rude, but she is not bad, unlike Ms. Cantwell.