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The Masters of Krikkit are the major antagonists in the Life, the Universe and Everything, the third book in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.


Origins

The Masters of Krikkit were always masters, but originally in a deep spiritual wise sense. They led their planet Krikkit peacefully and were voluntarily unaware of any Universe outside. They were content with the fact that they believed themselves to be alone, and any visitor to Krikkit would believe they are alone in the Universe because they have a dust cloud surrounding them.


Xenophobia

One day, the Masters of Krikkit were walking round their town when suddenly a whine came from the high atmosphere. But none of the Masters looked up. Too obssessed with their belief that they had nothing worth looking up for, they looked left and right, North and South, even at the ground. None of them looked up until a gigantic burning spaceship smashed through their planet's atmosphere and punched a hole in the earth, frightening and shocking them beyond belief.

The Masters suddenly got their technology to an advanced level in one entire year, and built their first spaceship, and launched it. Nobody believed it possible that they could get so far in so little time, but they went out in orbit and saw the Galaxy. Commenting that it would have to go, the Masters flew back to Krikkit, and made wrathful plans for war on the Galaxy and all its inhabitants. Within just  ten years, they made gigantic, functional spacecraft, equipped with planet-destroying weapons, and launched them out of wormholes into space, stealing whatever weapons, provisions and technology they could from inhabited worlds, then blowing up the worlds afterwards.

The Masters were successful in their war, and until some races fought back they were victorious. Eventually, they were defeated, lost their war, and bought to a Galactic court to be tried by Zapho Bibrox. The judge weighed up their crimes and their decency, and commented that he himself felt like blowing up the Galaxy some mornings. He mulled his thoughts for a while, and then asked if the usher had put something in his cup of water. The usher nervously said no, but then the judge said "Then take it away, and put something in it." He then went on to explain his idea of imprisoning the Masters and Krikkit inside a Slo-Time envelope, where life would continue until the End of the Universe and then planet Krikkit could reemerge from the envelope and continue its solitary existence in the void.

Everybody liked this idea, and planet Krikkit and its Masters was imprisoned.


The Key

The Masters of Krikkit had made savage, murderous white killer robots, which served them in their fanatical goal to end all life in the Galaxy. The Masters had sent some robots on their battleship out into space before their imprisonment so they could continue their plan. The robots were presumed obliterated in a battle but it was really just presumed missing. The robots eventually appeared, many years later, and set about assembling the Krikkit Key to unleash their evil Masters, the Key consisted of:


  • the Wooden Pillar, or the Ashes of English cricket
  • the Steel Pillar, or the artificial leg of Marvin the android
  • the Gold Bail, or the Heart of Gold of Zaphod's spaceship and its Improbability Drive
  • the Perspex Pillar, or the Argabuthon Sceptre of Justice,
  • the Silver Bail, or the Rory Award for the Most Gratuitous Use of the Word Fuck in a Serious Screenplay


The Key was stolen from planet Earth, planet Squornshellous Zeta, the spaceship Heart of Gold, the planet Argabuthon, and the unnamed planet where the Party was being held, respectively. The robots caused chaos and mass destruction on each planet or spaceship they visited.

The Key was successfully assembled, and planet Krikkit was unleashed from its prison a few millenia earlier than planned, causing alarm.


War

The planet Krikkit was wrathful and it was being led by the fanatical Krikkit Masters, but they discovered that their evil robots were seemingly reluctant to fight, odd because of their intentional evil nature, but this was all because they had kidnapped Marvin the depressed android, who corrupted the computer with his "depression virus" which made the robots depressed and miserable. Marvin saved Zaphod's life three times, and ended the new war.


Hactar

Tricia got suspicious about the whole event, and thought it was a set up. She fathomed that the Masters had been brainwashed, and that's why they "didn't know" what was going on. She went into the outer atmosphere, with Arthur, and deduced that the evil robot Hactar was brainwashing all of Krikkit and making them warlike. She dispersed his atoms, and ended the war properly, turning Krikkit into a paradise.


Personality

The Masters of Krikkit are described as being originally pleasant, a nice group of people, although one wouldn't want to spend a long bus ride with them. They are very egocentric, and have extremely annoying habits of bursting into unnecessary songs of their own composition. The Masters after they discover alien life are the same, but much more murderous, fanatical and obssessive. They are also very bitter from being imprisoned and eager to destroy the Universe. They are presumably the descendants of the Silastic Armorfiend race, because the Silastics used Hactar in their plans too. The Silastics asked Hactar to make a supernova bomb but he introduced a flaw because he saw the evil plan, so the Armofiends pulverized him, making him bitter. They reduced him to a clump of atoms in deep space, and he possessed the Masters and brainwashed them, making them warmongers like their ancestors.

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