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Mario (Starbomb)
What up, Bitch!? I gotta "1-Up", Bitch!
What's inside the question box? IT'S MA DICK!
a-Mario! I'm more Italian than pastrami!
I'll take you by the peaches and give
you the "hot salami!"
~ Mario addressing the princess.

Mario is the usually heroic plumber of the Mushroom Kingdom, but the video, Luigi's Ballad produced by Starbomb, portrays him as a selfish pervert simply trying to get it with the princess.


In the video, Luigi confesses his true feelings to the princess, but Mario interrupts him, blurting out words relating with his game series synonymous with profane thoughts (1-Up = erection). Luigi scolds him, saying he ruins every chance he's ever had with a girl. Peach was about to leave, but returns to Luigi and tells him to confess what he truly feels about her, as Mario is a bit risque.

Luigi was about tell her something, but Mario butts in again and explains that the Princess owes him for all the times he had to go through so much to save her from Bowser and other villains. Peach was then forced to make a decision between the compassionate Luigi and the tenacious Mario.

In the end, she chooses Toad, as his whole body is shaped like a dick, which both Mario and Luigi agree with.