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Larry Quinn

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I Sending Conrad Away!!!

~ Larry Singing
Oh, I think you're gonna love it! It's just like summer camp, except with brutal forced marches and soul-crushing discipline.
~ Larry Quinn to Conrad about military school

Lawrence Quinn (also known as Larry) is the main antagonist of the 2003 live action film adaptation of The Cat in the Hat. He is the Waldens' evil next-door neighbor who is determined to both marry Joan for her wealth and get rid of her son Conrad by sending him to military school. His real first name is Lawrence, but he is called Larry for short.

He was portrayed by Alec Baldwin who would later go on to voice Dennis and Makunga and had previously portrayed Nicholas Kudrow.


Larry sets himself up as an ideal boyfriend to Joan, but in reality he is a greedy and unemployed fat slob with false teeth that lives in financial debt and wants Joan's money. He has very poor manners, such as burping in public. He is in love with Joan but only because she is richer than he is.

Larry is also very vain and arrogant, because he compliments himself and calls himself "perfect" even if he is a fat, disgusting slob. He also has a manipulative side to him and tries to manipulate both Joan and her daughter Sally to get on his side about Conrad.

Larry is apparently allergic to cats, as shown in the film when he sneezes in the presence of the Cat in the Hat.

He dislikes Conrad, who according to Larry is nothing more a stupid kid, a rule-breaker and a compulsive liar who will never amount to anything in life. He wants to get rid of Conrad by sending him to military school to straighten him up. In the beginning, only Conrad can see Larry's true personality. In the end, Mr. Quinn fails at achieving his goals, but refuses to admit failure.


Larry first appears posing as a real estate agent, returning Joan's dog Nevins to her after Conrad gets into trouble for messing up the house. He also suggests sending Conrad to military school to straighten up his behavior, though Joan is unsure of the offer despite Conrad's misbehavior. Conrad overhears his conversation with his mother, saying he is not going to military school. Larry immediately displays his arrogance by verbally abusing Conrad but complimenting himself. He then leaves without a trace.

Later on, Larry is revealed to be an unemployed slob, as his house is in ruins and several men have his TV repossessed, much to his distraught. He finds Nevins running on the street again, and planned to exploit this to get the kids into trouble. He calls Joan on the phone and attempts to manipulate her to get on his side, but Joan starts to get suspicious about his true motives. He then confronts the kids at the house and shows his gross and selfish side, burping in Sally's face and telling his plot to the kids. After stealing some beer and bread, he leaves and kidnaps Nevins, planning to deliver him to Joan, but the Cat in the Hat (posing as a hippie) tricks him into giving Nevins back to the kids.

He then sees that Conrad, Sally, and the Cat scamper off with Nevins as they attempt to hurry home. The Cat drags Larry into his secret place, located in a telephone booth, and manages to get him lost. He whines when he is unable to find them after exiting.

Larry then goes over to Joan's office and convince her to go back to the house with him to ensure that her kids were up to no good. However, they get pulled over by Thing 1 and Thing 2 (posing as police officers), and Larry decides to take matters into his own hands by walking over to Joan's house himself, telling Joan to meet him there. There, he catches the kids and plans to have them punished by their mother, but is surprised to see that the house is clean. At that point, the Cat personally appears to Larry, who sneezes (as he is allergic to cats), tearing through a wall and falling off a bottomless cliff, screaming, revealing the Cat's world and causing the house to be messed up.

Upset by the turn of events, Sally and Conrad decide to take full responsibility for what happened and face punishment, but fortunately, the Cat and the Things fixed up the house to its original state (much to Sally and Conrad's delight). In the meantime, Lawrence ends up surviving while being covered in purple goo after being flushed from the house through a small pipe. After the Cat and the Things leave, Joan returns home, only to see that everything is just the way it is. However, Larry arrives to the scene, furious at the kids due to the humiliation that he went through. He attempts to explain the events that occurred, but Joan doesn't believe him and instead tells him to leave, even tearing up the military school brochure and sticking it into Larry's sticky chest. This leaves Larry in tears as Joan finally closes the door on him. It is unknown what happened to him afterwards (though in a deleted scene shows him being chased by a mad dog while repo men are towing his car away). 


Hey, sport! Call me "Lawrence", okay?
~ Larry to Conrad when he's first greeted as "Larry".
The military academy for troubled youth is what we in salesmen call a win-win scenario!
~ Larry trying to convince Joan to get Conrad into military school.
It's only eight hours away!
~ Larry telling Joan not to worry about how far military school is for Conrad.
I don't like you either, but I'm gonna marry your mom!
~ Larry admitting how he really feels about Conrad and his intentions towards Joan.
And if it was up to me, you'd be in military school today!
~ Larry vowing to send Conrad off to military school as punishment
Good bread!
~ Larry eating Sally and Conrad's food without their permission and belching loudly much to Sally's disgust.
When Joan and I get married, Conrad and you will be moving out and I'll be moving in!
~ Larry verbally abusing the pet dog Nevins about his plans for the Walden family.
I can't believe you whizzed on my taco!
~ Larry's dismay over Nevins the dog urinating on his food out of revenge.
Wait till Joan gets a load of you!
~ Larry promising the dog Nevins will be punished by his owner Joan.
Not so fast, you little maggots! Oh you are SO busted! Now get inside!
~ Larry ambushing Conrad and Sally at their house and holds them hostage.
Will you marry me, Joan?
~ Larry's last words before he is rejected by Joan and pushed out of the Walden's home defeated.
Joan, you know what kind of kid your boy is! I mean, who are you going to believe?!
~ Larry trying to get Joan to believe him against Conrad's truth.
Sally, Baby, Angel, Princess, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, okay? NOBODY LIKES A SUCK-UP!
~ Larry showing his true colors to Sally.
Is there a Cat in here?
~ After Larry sees The Cat in the Hat on the roof


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