Chris is instantly smitten with his new teacher, the voluptuous Mrs. Lana Lockhart. Chris asks his parents for advice on how to get a girl to like him, and Stewie gives him a condom, since he has heard about his relationship with his teacher. Lois tells him that he should be romantic, and Peter suggests that he should dress up as a naked spaceman to be spontaneous. When Chris shows up to class, Mrs. Lockhart is shocked and thinks he's being too impulsive. Lois is not pleased with this. After she and Peter talk to Mrs. Lockhart, she finds out that Chris is in love with her; she promises Chris to be with him if he kills her husband, Ronald, though he does not do it. When Lois finds the teacher's written instructions in Chris' laundry, she runs to Mrs. Lockhart's home and finds the mauled body of her husband. Believing Chris is the killer, Lois and Stewie conspire to cover up the plot by dumping the body in the lake and bluffing a policeman. Back at home, the rest of the family treats Chris differently because they believe he actually killed Mrs. Lockhart's husband, until it is shown on the news that it was really Mrs. Lockhart and a bear. In the last scene, Mrs. Lockhart and the bear are found in a motel, with Mrs. Lockhart all dressed up for a nice evening dinner while the bear is lying on the bed watching television. The two engage in stereotypical passive-aggressive behavior. The bear insists that he is not in the mood to go out for the night, then attempts to ameliorate Mrs. Lockhart's disappointment by rubbing her back with his foot and saying "Love you...", and with that the episode concludes.
- Unnamed Bear
- Unnamed Husband
- Chris Griffin - Former Love Interest