If you are 18 years or older or are comfortable with graphic material, you are free to view this page. Otherwise, you should close this page and view another page.
|“||No we're not recruited at the moment, no we don't have any vehemencies, there's no point sending me a list of candidates we don't-, no, no we don't have any vehemencies, WE DON'T HAVE ANY VEHEMENCIES!!, we don- AHH FUCK OFF!, hello?-WE DON'T HAVE ANY VEHEMENCIES!!.||„|
|~ Jeb snaps.|
|“||And that really hurt Charlie and it's hurting, you little twat||„|
|~ Jeb while reacting the Charlie Bit My Finger.|
|“||what?, you can really make 10 million quid doing that?, but it's bollocks, Someone would give me 10 million and i got a bigger willy||„|
|~ Jeb while reacting the Crazy Frog.|
Jeb Tiberius Sausagefreak is the titular main protagonist villain and anti-hero of the Jeb's Jobs, Jeb's Hobbies and other medias, he is a bipedal sausage-shaped creature who has personalities and traits similar to humans.
He is voiced by Nick Forshaw, who is the creator of the Jeb media.
Although he is the main protagonist of the media at times, but mostly he has been showed to be an violent, sarcastic, a outright villain or an ant-hero.
- Technical Support - nearly snapping and telling a customer to flush the power unit so he can eat his sandwich.
- Kids TV - He cusses on tv and snatches his socks (who where puppets on the tv) away.
- Administrative Services - completely snaps then Kills Roger with a stapler and then goes on a rampage (properly his biggest villain role ever).
In the series
Jeb is working in an office in a technical support building. He is preparing to eat a large sandwich but is interrupted by a customer. He answers the telephone and is told that the person's printer isn't working. Jeb tells them to check their computer's screen and asks for what it says. They say "out of paper" and Jeb tells them to put some paper in. He then hangs up and puts the phone down, but as soon as he put it down, someone else rang up. Jeb answers them and is told that their phone isn't working. Jeb asks if they're sure and then the person on the other end of the phone realizes that the phone is indeed working. The person thanks Jeb, who bids the person farewell and hangs up; but then someone else calls. They jokingly ask for someone called Jock Strap. Jeb says that he gets it and hangs up, shortly before calling them a moron. The phone yet again rings but Jeb accidentally answers "testicle support" and hangs up.
Jeb is then phoned by someone else who is trying to access a website which is blocked by their computer's firewall. Jeb answers that it is the firewall that is blocking it and explains that the firewall is "a big wall of fire where you'll burn in internal damnation" and then hangs up. Someone else calls and says that they lost their car keys. Jeb explains that this is technical support and hangs up. The phone stops ringing so Jeb prepares to eat his sandwich but is unfortunately interrupted by another customer. He asks if they tried kicking it and then says that is probably the reason it isn't working and hangs up. Immediately, another person calls and Jeb asks what they were trying to photocopy. He then says that it would leave a smear and tells them to try using paint thinner. Someone else calls and tells Jeb that a man has get something caught in a shredder and is loosing a lot of blood. Jeb advises that they should call an ambulance instead. Someone calls and asks for the weather during the weekend. Jeb is annoyed and hangs up again. Someone else phones up and Jeb tells them to turn the bit at the top and they tell him that water is coming out. Jeb tells them not to call again and hangs up. The same prank caller from earlier phones up again and asks for Mr. Octopus. Jeb says he gets the jokes and says that they're still not funny.
The telephone rings again but Jeb ignores it for a second. He then picks it up and answers it calmly. Jeb tells them to flush the power unit. He tells them that its easy and asks what type of coffee they have. He then tells them to pour it all in. The power in the office then flashes and blows out, leaving Jeb in the dark. Jeb is then outside eating his sandwich but is handed a P45.
Jeb is seen presenting a children's TV show called The Hello Show. He waves at the camera and says that he is waving before murmuring "that's a valuable life skill mastered". He then is greeted by a pair of sock puppets called Tim and Tom. Jeb says that he has a pair of socks like them and looks for his socks. Jeb is asked what he is doing and Jeb replies by saying that he is waving. He asks if they can wave, before realizing that they don't have arms. Tim and Tom asks Jeb if he wants to join in with their song. Jeb is reluctant, but he has no choice. Tim and Tom sing but before Jeb could say a line, the song ended. Jeb said to the audience that they were funny before whispering, "Not."
Jeb proceeds to show some pictures that children have drawn for the show. He shows the first one from a girl called Jessica from Swindon who had drawn a picture of a balloon and a sunny sky. He flipped the balloon which revealed an image of Jessica which shocked Jeb due to her grotesque appearance. He shows a picture from a teenage called Gav, who is 16 years old. Jeb asks if he was a bit of a late developer. He then showed the picture which was of a penis ejaculating. Jeb stretched the truth and said that it was a coconut tree with two hairy coconuts.
Tim and Tom reappear and asks Jeb if he wants to hear a joke. Jeb asks if he could "reserve judgment". The pair say the joke and laugh, but Jeb whispers to them that the children aren't morons. It is then time to see what Jeb's friend Ned is doing. Jeb asks if he is behind the square window, the round window or the sausage-shaped window. Jeb looks through the sausage-shaped window and sees Ned on the toilet "having a poo". An angry Ned immediately slams the door shut and Jeb waves goodbye to his best friend. He points out that he is waving again. A door bell ringing and Jeb says that it is the postman. Jeb goes to see what was sent whilst singing a song. He opens the post box and the letter. The letter is in fact a P45 and Jeb gets angry. He then leaves while taking back everything he owns, including Tim and Tom (who are revealed to actually be a person's hands).
Jeb is shown reenacting the Crazy Frog scene. Whilst acting it out, he checks the script and then resumes his performance. When he does the classic fart, he excuses himself and then leaps off screen. Jeb then wonders how he can make 10,000,000 pounds doing that and says that it is bollocks.
At the end, Jeb is seen polishing the classic Crazy Frog helmet.
Jeb is seen reenacting a Madonna music video, but he ends up tripping over the music player.
Jeb is at the top of the mountain wearing skis. He glances at a book about skiing and pushes himself off the mountain to begin. Jeb narrowly misses several bumps in the mountain, but he then relaxes. While he has plenty of time, Jeb starts eating a sandwich, writing a postcard, and then knitting.
Unfortunately, Jeb ends up skiing off the edge of a cliff and falls down, screaming in terror. Luckily, Jeb lands on his feet and is seemingly fine. But then his ski poles fall and land on his head, making him collapse on the floor, unconscious.
Jeb is seen playing clay pigeons with Ned. Jeb inserts the bullet into the gun and orders Ned to pull, to which he does. Jeb proceeds to fire the gun, but it backfires when he is shot back far away.
Things Not To Do During The Movie
Jeb snatches the TV remote away from Ned so that he can watch a programme that had just started.
Jeb reenacts a scene from a film with a woman saying that she loves a man named Roger. Jeb is seen holding a pair of oranges to represent the woman's breasts.
Jeb is eating a bag of crisps while watching a film, but Ned comes and uses a vacuum cleaner in front of the TV, ruining and blocking out the film.
Jeb is talking on the phone with someone, but he can't hear the person on the other end. So he switches off the TV, much to Ned's dismay.
Jeb constantly puts his hand over Ned's eyes so he can't see the film, but an irritated Ned keeps pushing them out of the way.
Ned accidentally farts during the film and Jeb looks at him in disgust.
Ned is watching a film in anticipation, but Jeb switches the channel, much to Ned's dismay.
While watching a film, Jeb explains that it is all done with computers nowadays and it isn't the same.
While watching a loving scene, Jeb kisses Ned on the face. In disgust, Ned falls to the ground.
Jeb and Ned hold up boards saying, "Things Not To Do During The Movie" and the makers of the bumpers.