These kids are like my own children. Except I'm not banned from going within a mile of their houses
~ Iqbal

Iqbal is the school's headmaster/Levantine gangster whose exact origins are unknown. He won the school in a poker game and is still getting to grips with his responsibilities. His voice is supplied by Simon Greenall, who played Michael, the unintelligible Geordie hotel worker in I'm Alan Partridge.

Iqbal arrived in England with nothing but the shirt he wore on his back, a faded five pound note in his pocket, and a Bedford van's exhaust chamber full of state of the art hydroponic equipment and marijuana seeds with the potential street value, when cultivated, of £80,000 (equal to £81,000 today). With these simple tools, he built an empire that today covers many thousand square feet.Although he had no formal academic qualifications (he does not believe in science, which he calls "hocus-pocus"), Iqbal rose quickly through the ranks to become Headmaster on the night he won Bromwell High in a poker game.Since he began his tenure, Bromwell High has consistently succeeded in avoiding closure - testament, surely to the quality of leadership he had provided.Gregarious and larger than life, Iqbal is not a conventional Headmaster by any stretch. His language is colourful though his understanding of basic grammar is non-existent. He tries to make money any way he can, which often involves illegal and unethical practices. He holds very long meetings and assemblies that are often filled with irrelevant and/or ridiculous anecdotes or performances (known unofficially as "Item 53", due to the fact that in each episode the bizarre story/act is promptly followed by Iqbal saying, "Next on our list, item 54..."). He can be manipulative and cocky but beneath the rough exterior lurks a conscience and occasionally Iqbal surprises everyone with (rare) moments of humanity and pastoral excellence.