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I. M. Meen

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Oh look, what clever children! See them study, watch them learn! How I hate those goody-goodies! How they make my stomach turn! I got a little secret, that will really make 'em cry! It's a nasty kind of magic from a special kind of guy! This book is made to order, but it isn't to be read. When they open up this book, they're sucked inside instead, to the most unpleasant place they've ever seen; The Magic Labyrinth of I. M. Meen! Very scary and confusing, DESTINATION OF MY CHOOSING! The magic Labyrinth of I. M. MEEN! Hahahaha!
~ I. M. Meen

Ignatius Mortimer Meen, or I.M. Meen for short, is the titular main villain of the 1995 educational computer game I. M. Meen for MS-DOS.

Storyline

I. M. Meen is a wizard with an unrivaled hatred of goodie-goodie children, who spend all their time reading, and traps them in his Magic Labyrinth with an enchanted book. He sings a song about this during the game's intro, and during gameplay he occasionally appears to taunt the player. He is defeated at the end of the game by "Writewell's Book of Better Grammar", which the player finds with the help of Gnorris, a gnome who works for Meen but decided to help the children escape.

The player travels across the labyrinth, defeating the monsters and rescuing the children, causing the labyrinth's condition to rapidly deteriorate. They eventually confront I. M. Meen himself and defeat him using the Writewell's Book of Better Grammar, which he had stolen and placed in the labyrinth. He swears that he will have his revenge and disappears.

Personality

Lost? Frightened? Confuuuused? GOOD! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
~ I. M. Meen

I. M. Meen is an arrogant, insufferable braggart who believes he is the "most powerful magician in the world", even though he gets defeated by kids armed with only good grammar. Meen's arrogance is further illustrated in his terribly written self-insert stories, wherein he portrays himself as an amazing hero loved by everyone.

He is sadistic, self absorbed, and (as his name implies) mean, he is constantly taunting the player character throughout the game and enjoys seeing them suffer. When he is victorious, he loves to rub his victory in. He is also a sore loser who breaks down in tears when the player destroys his labyrinth and swears revenge when he is defeated for good.

Quotes

What's the matter, smarty? Lost my way? My guardians will be happy to escort you, to your cozy cell! *evil laugh*
You can't win, bookworm! I am the most powerful magician in the world, and you're just a little smarty!
Mirror, mirror on the wall, there's a bookworm in the hall...BUT NOT FOR LONG! *evil laugh*
Better luck next time, bookworm. Of course there probably won't be a next time! *evil laugh*
Today's lesson is about the dangers of too smart for your own good. I hope you're paying attention, bookworm!
Lost? Frightened? Confused? GOOD! *evil laugh*
Back into your cell, bookworm! Don't worry, I'm sure you'll escape again...IN A HUNDRED YEARS! *evil laugh*
You won't get far, you studious little brat! My pets will see to that. *evil laugh*
Still loose, little bookworm. Don't get used to it, my pets are closing in! *evil laugh*
Well, well, I'm surprised you don't give up, bookworm! You're beginning to look run down. Why not take a little nap?
Here's a rhyme for you: *clears throat* I knew a little bookworm, who tried to get away, until the friendly guardians persuaded him to stay! *evil laugh*
Why hello, little bookworm. I do hope you're enjoying your whirlwind tour of my labyrinth! Hmmm?
You're tougher than you look, twerp, but I've still got some nasty tricks up my sleeve!
Why are you beginning to annoy me, you miserable little goody-goodie?
Okay, bookworm! Now you're really starting to annoy me! Get back to your cell before I turn you into a...CHIPMUNK!
*panting* Wretched child! You ruined my beautiful average! Now you're going to pay!
*screams* You may have outsmarted me this time, bookworm! But I'll be back. I.M. MEEN NEVER QUITS, YOU'LL SEE!
~ I.M. Meen going away by twirling around like a tornado.

Video

Trivia

  • This game was created by Animation Magic, the same company who made the infamous Legend of Zelda CD-i games. As such, Meen has been used as a character in countless YouTube Poop videos. He is usually depicted very negatively in YouTube Poops as well, and is very often portrayed as a pedophile and a child molester.
  • His name is a pun on "I am mean".

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