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Giggity, giggity, goo!
~ Quagmire's famous catchphrase.
Alright!
~ Quagmire's second catchphrase.
You! You son of a b*tch, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!
~ Glenn Quagmire, blaming Brian Griffin before they fight.

Glenn Quagmire, born Glenn Quagglechek, is a major character in the Family Guy franchise. He is one of Peter Griffin's three best friends who is characterized primarily by his extreme sexual deviancy.

He is voiced by the show's creator Seth MacFarlane, who also voices Peter Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin, and Carter Pewterschmidt in the same series, Stan Smith and Roger Smith in American Dad!, Max Chilblain in Logan Lucky, and Mike in Sing.

Appearance[]

Glenn Quagmire is a Caucasian adult male with short 50's-style-combed raven hair occupying part of his head. He has a big chin with a deep cleft and a long nose. He wears a red Hawaiian shirt, blue jeans, and brown shoes. While he appears to be young, Quagmire is actually 61 years old. However, to keep his appearance youthful, he consumes carrots daily.

Personality[]

Quagmire's creator and voice actor Seth McFarlane describes Quagmire as "an appalling human being who is still caught in the Rat Pack era." Quagmire is obsessed with sex to the point that he engages in every imaginable perversion, including rape, pedophilia, bestiality, incest, and necrophilia.

Despite being a misogynistic pervert and hypocrite, he has also been shown to have a kinder side towards his loved ones. He does whatever it takes to help his friends and protect his sister, Brenda, who was often beaten by her abusive boyfriend, Jeffery Fecalman, whom Quagmire hated. Eventually, he was so infuriated by this that he murdered Jeff for his abuse of Brenda.

His sexual nature and lust for women is hinted through flashbacks of his life starting from infant stage. It's even hinted that he harbors sexual attraction towards his mother; when Quagmire is seen crying and his mother exposes her chest to breastfeed her son, Quagmire stops crying, says "O right!" and suckles from his mother in a lustful way.

His mother Mrs. Quagmire apparently has the same sexual appetite as her own son. Glenn also expresses an incestuous sexual attraction towards his own daughter, Anna Lee Quagmire (whom he gave up for adoption as an infant to another married couple). After bidding his daughter goodbye, Glenn openly admits his misogynistic perverted views about his daughter to Peter, hoping that he would "bump into her in about 18 years," implying he's hoping for physical contact. Peter is disgusted by this and reminds him that he is talking about his only biological daughter through incestual fantasy. Glenn chuckles and tells Peter that he didn't change like Peter hoped for the better and bids the audience goodnight. Granted, when he almost has sex with another one of his daughters in "No Giggity, No Doubt,” he calls it off upon finding out they’re related and instead decides to be her father.

In another episode, Quagmire is one of two finalists of the TV show The Bachelorette, and he takes his date home to meet his mother. He tells his mother to stop screaming at him, telling her that if she wants to participate in a three-way with Glenn and the Bachelorette, she needs to change her tone after yelling at Glenn about Mittens, their family cat.

Quagmire is an extremely prideful individual, and despite many of the disgusting and perverted acts he has committed, is perfectly willing to chastise others such as Brian for things that he himself has displayed, such as his own failure as a father. When forced to own up to his mistakes, Glenn instead chooses to blame it all on his past life and refuses to admit that he had some responsibility for the actions in his life. He is also a very vindictive, irritable, and downright spiteful individual, being very quick to harshly criticize and/or attack others (verbally or physically) for any kinds of annoyances.

Relationships[]

Family[]

  • Ida Davis - Father
  • Crystal Quagmire - Mother
  • Brenda Quagmire - Sister
  • Gary Quagmire - Brother
  • Unnamed Unborn Nephew
  • Abby - Niece

Allies[]

  • Peter Griffin - Best Friend and Temporary Enemy
  • Joe Swanson - Friend
  • Cleveland Brown - Friend
  • Lois Griffin - Love Interest
  • Bonnie Swanson - Love Interest
  • Chris Griffin
  • Meg Griffin - Love Interest
  • Stewie Griffin
  • Brian Griffin - Archenemy Turned Frenemy
  • Tricia Takanawa - Love Interest
  • Donna Tubbs-Brown
  • Loretta Brown - Former Love Interest
  • Carolyn - Love Interest
  • Cheryl Tiegs - Long Time Love Interest
  • Jillian Russell Wilcox
  • Tom Tucker - Ally and Temporary Enemy
  • Kevin Swanson
  • John Herbert
  • Dr. Elmer Hartman
  • Mayor Adam West - Ally and Temporary Enemy
  • Seamus Levine
  • Horace - Friend
  • Carl
  • Carter Pewterschmidt - Situation Ally
  • Consuela
  • Bruce
  • Brooke Roberts

Enemies[]

Villainous Roles[]

Family Guy[]

Quagmire has an extremely misogynistic, perverted and provocative nature; he is an abuser of women, a serial rapist, a necrophile, and a zoophile. Throughout the series, Quagmire has been shown to be madly in lust with Lois Griffin. However, all of his attempts to get her attention have failed, usually foiled by Peter and/or Brian. Quagmire is also an antagonist and a supporting character in the later seasons due to his deep hatred of Brian. His hatred towards Brian has lessened since, and almost every time they interact they remain neutral.

  • During the series, Quagmire has sex with Cleveland's wife, Loretta Brown. When the truth is eventually revealed, Cleveland wants revenge on Quagmire. In the end, the two make amends and remain close pals, despite the fact that this leads to Cleveland and Loretta's divorce.
  • Quagmire later ends another one of Cleveland's relationships by having sex with a woman Cleveland intended to elope in Hawaii with.
  • In "Blind Ambition," Quagmire is arrested for trying to watch Lois Griffin use the restroom.
  • In "Jerome is the New Black," Quagmire unintentionally reveals that he has a starving woman tied up in his basement. This is one of the many examples of his horrible character. Strangely, despite all of this, Joe Swanson has done nothing to stop him, even though he is a police officer.
  • In "Movin' Out (Brian's Song)," he kills the entire Simpson family after trying to have off-screen sexual intercourse with Marge. This is a deleted scene.
  • Quagmire claims he has "complied with Megan's Law," suggesting that he is a registered sex offender and has a record of statutory rape.
  • In "Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother," he comes across a tied up junior high cheerleader, and it's heavily implied that he molests her offscreen.
  • He engages in necrophilia. In "I Take Thee Quagmire," he asks Death to leave Joan's body with him "for another 5 minutes", and in a DVD-only scene in "Airport '07", he is shown jumping half-naked out of a coffin. In The Cleveland Show episode, "Gone With the Wind," he dresses Loretta's corpse as a French maid and then has sex with her before delivering her body to Cleveland, showing he is not above necrophilia.
  • Although Quagmire normally has a soft side for animals (cats in particular), he harbors a seething hatred for Brian Griffin, which Brian figures out in "Jerome Is the New Black." Quagmire despises everything about him, but has told Brian that he could forgive him for everything if he wasn't "such a bore." Since then, he will constantly assault him (be it verbally or physically) whenever they interact.
    • In "Quagmire's Dad," he physically assaults Brian with deadly intent and gives him severe injuries for unintentionally sleeping with his sex-changed father, even telling Brian to die from his injuries and that he'll blow his head off if he ever steps foot on his property. This causes Brian to start hating Quagmire back.
    • His hatred for Brian is pure hypocrisy, due to the fact that two of the reasons he hates Brian is that he constantly hits on Lois and ignores his son, but the fact is that Quagmire stalks Lois (even trying to have sex with her when Peter gets amnesia) and he has ignored many more children than Brian (like the ones seen in "Tales of a Third Grade Nothing").
    • It is also possible that Brian is the sole reason as to why Quagmire hates dogs.
    • Even later, when Quagmire is able to tolerate Brian and casually interact with him, he is shown to be passive aggressive towards him, such as harshly telling Brian to shut up when he talks about a quote in "Forget Me Not" or when he rudely tells Brian that most dogs are tied to poles in the backyard after Brian tries to criticize Quagmire and Joe for judging Peter's new Muslim friend in "Turban Cowboy." And even so, his hatred towards him can still get physical, like in "Cat Fight."
  • It is eventually revealed that the reason for Quagmire's vicious actions toward women is because of a heartbreak from his one true love - Cheryl Tiegs. Ever since she dumped him, Quagmire has been dating women in an attempt to fill the void she made. Quagmire also notes that famous actor James Woods stole Tiegs from him, causing Quagmire to develop a hatred for Woods. Brian then goes on a date with Tiegs in order to spite Quagmire after his education in Quagmire's class causes a woman named Denise to dump him. In retaliation, Quagmire tries to go out on a date with Brian's ex-girlfriend, Jillian Wilcox, but this leads to a fight between Quagmire and Brian, prompting both Jillian and Tiegs to dump them, believing that both Quagmire and Brian have no respect for either of them or any other women. Afterward, when it seems like the two become friends again, Quagmire nods to Brian to tell him he can get into his car for a passage to home, but immediately drives away as Brian is about to enter the vehicle, and, after leaving Brian alone, Quagmire returns to send him flying into the air in a cartoonish manner by hitting him with his car. This shows that Quagmire is unwilling to call a truce with Brian.
  • Quagmire also has sexual interest in Meg Griffin. The most notable case is in "Meg and Quagmire," where Quagmire attempts to "move in for the kill" once Meg reaches her 18th birthday. He slowly gains Meg's affection, and then eventually drives her to his cabin in the woods, where he attempts to have sex with her. Peter and Lois manage to stop him in the nick of time.
  • Aside from his feud with Brian, Quagmire has shown a strong growing intolerance for Peter's immoral stupidity, getting very infuriated with his antics, such as slamming Peter's head on the bar counter because he was in Quagmire's way in talking to Joe in "Herpe, the Love Sore," grabbing Peter's guitar and smashing it into pieces during a live performance because Peter got his guitar pick stuck in it and couldn't get it out in "Into Harmony's Way," and harshly calling Peter an "ass wipe" for assuming he knows about Mayor West's cousin in "Wild, Wild West." While Peter's sociopathic stupidity can be very aggravating, it is made clear that Quagmire has exceptionally little tolerance and patience for it.
  • In "And Then There Were Fewer," he expresses satisfaction in his annoying girlfriend Stephanie's death. He also tries to blame Brian for James Woods's murder and rudely calls Brian a hack when he tries to rebute it.
  • While on The Bachelorette, Quagmire notably attempts to commit date rape by drugging his date Brooke's drink and attempting to drag her body to another location, only to take off with one of her shoes when he realizes their date was being filmed. Later, when Brooke chooses him to progress further during the elimination round, a surprised Glenn makes a confession about the attempted date rape, though he denies it when Brooke asks him to confirm what he said.
  • In "Welcome Back, Carter," he hypocritically takes offense to Carter's affair (disregarding the fact that he had participating in an affair by having sex with Cleveland’s wife, Loretta) encourages Peter to take advantage of him discovering the affair by blackmailing Carter, and when Brian objects to it, Quagmire rudely tells him that no one cares what he thinks.
  • In "Hannah Banana," Chris sets up a camera in his room to try to prove the Evil Monkey's existence. One of the events Chris's camera captures is both Peter and Quagmire placing his hand in a bowl of water, causing Chris to piss his pants. Quagmire then proceeds to punch Chris in the eye before they leave his room.
  • In “Airport 07,” Quagmire is revealed to be trafficking Asian women and hiding them in various places so he could have sex with them later on, including the trunk of his car and his garage. He later admits that he tagged the girls so he could find them in case they escaped.
  • In a deleted scene in "And I'm Joyce Kinney," Quagmire gets disgusted over the fact that he lives next door to Lois when her past of being a former porn star is revealed and even slut-shames Lois by calling her "trash," showing that, despite being a registered sex offender and having a sexual lust for Lois, he is perfectly willing to demonize and humiliate her for her immoral actions (like with Brian) in spite of what he himself has done.
  • Quagmire and Peter help Mort burn down his pharmacy to collect the insurance money since it is already falling apart after the death of his wife Muriel Goldman and a few others at the hands of Diane Simmons. As part of a campaign to save the business Peter and Quagmire fly a plane with an advertising banner which is pulled off by an antenna spire and falls to the ground where it blindsides a school bus, causing it to fall off a bridge and into a river which kills everyone including the driver; they and Mort show remorse and concern not for the deceased but instead Mort's livelihood which takes a further nosedive.
  • In "Valentine's Day in Quahog," he kicks a woman out of his house after a night of sex when she offers him breakfast, and she swears he will get what he deserves. Quagmire is then shocked by the woman's hair straightener (which he called her "electric tampon warmer"), which makes everyone see him as a woman. Then he decides to take advantage of this to manipulate women who have been hurt by men to take solace in him.
  • In "German Guy," when Chris and Peter attempt to use Salsa music to gain attention to the fact that they're being held prisoner, Quagmire, who is sleeping, awakes annoyed and, instead of checking where the noise is coming from, he puts his "White Noise Machine" on, which literally plays the screams of terrified women, which calm Quagmire, showing that he not only takes comfort in sadism, but is shown to be rather condescendingly irritable.
  • In "Brian's a Bad Father," he shoots Peter in the head (after Peter had deliberately shot him in the arm on a hunting trip) so that they can return to being friends again. While Quagmire is supposed to be seen in the right, his incredibly spiteful attitude (him bitterly telling Peter that the only thing that meant anything to him is "shooting him like a dirty animal") coupled with his complete lack of shock after shooting Peter in the head in cold blood puts Quagmire in a negative light.
  • In "Life of Brian," he is the only person in the funeral who does not mourn Brian's death and instead watches a video on his cellphone. However, this action gets erased when Stewie goes back in time to save Brian.
  • In “Quagmire’s Mom,” after he gets in trouble for sleeping with an underage girl as well as producing pornography of her (which he even shows to Joe), he attempts to explain and excuse himself by blaming his mother Crystal’s sexual deviancy for influencing him, not only refusing to take responsibility for his actions, but also not showing any remorse. Later, when Crystal arrives to support and comfort him, he continues to vilify and blame her for the way he is today, refusing to account for his actions, and when Brian tells him that he needs to own up to his crimes, Quagmire responds by saying that an atheist like himself shouldn't support a Christian like his mother, not only blindly disregarding Brian’s accurate statement but also trying to claim moral superiority even when he has no moral high ground. In the end of the episode, when Crystal is able to commute his sentence by having sex with the judge, Peter states that not only did Quagmire get away scot free with his immoral acts, but has not learned anything from it and will likely do it again. The whole episode shows that Quagmire is willing to blame others for his flaws and even claim undeserved and hypocritical moral superiority by gratuitously humiliating and demonizing others for their flaws.
  • In "Crimes and Meg's Demeanor," he makes a move on a married woman who is more than willing to have sex with him after signaling that her husband is gone. Quagmire escapes before the husband opens the door by using a grappling hook attached to an airplane. When he spots Brian watching him, he gives Brian the middle finger. This could be interpreted as Quagmire warning Brian not to rat him out.
  • In "Boy (Dog) Meets Girl (Dog)," it's revealed that Quagmire has an all-access pass to anything sex-related, which he uses to watch Brian and Elie's mating ritual and ruins Brian's moment with Ellie by making fun of Brian's inability to perform.
  • In "Family Guy Lite," it is revealed that his house has several booby traps that are triggered through certain phrases, such as "I'm not gonna have sex with you," which will open a trapdoor under the person who said that. Others like "is it okay if I stay tonight?" and "can we go somewhere and just talk for a minute?" will have a robotic arm toss the person who said either phrase out the window.
  • In "Adam West High," he runs against Brian for mayoral election out of pure spite and makes him look ridiculous by sabotaging the dog's appearance in the debate. Later on, he insults Brian, which leads to the two hanging off a cliff while still on the bus. After knowing each other's real reasons for wanting to be Mayor, Brian tries to say something complimentary to Quagmire, but he rejects returning the favor.
  • In "Fecal Matters," he makes Brian, who believes himself to be part cat, jump off a roof to prove him right but the latter fails and ends in a broken heap. Quagmire takes cold pleasure at the sight and tells him that he's "not a cat."
  • In "Teacher's Heavy Pet", he encourages Chris to take a naked picture of Lois showering to maintain his popularity after Chris has second thoughts about going through with the deed.

American Dad![]

  • In "The Unbrave One," Glenn Quagmire lies about being a doctor named "Dr. Vadgers," so that he can trick Francine into sending him nude pictures of herself.

The Cleveland Show[]

  • In "Gone With the Wind," Quagmire has sex with Loretta's dead body, before delivering it to Cleveland.
  • In "Beer Walk!", Quagmire asks Cleveland if he could have sex with his new wife, Donna.
  • In "BFFs," it's revealed that Quagmire and Loretta were intimate more than once, as they are seen making out in the background of a framed picture Cleveland has of himself and Peter.

Quotes[]

You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing, you always say "Oh, I'll get you later," but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of "Catcher in the Rye" and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation of how Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much, he's you! God, you're pretentious! And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer even though you're terrible. You know, I should've known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there's no "a" in the word "definite." And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda, how we should "legalize pot, man," how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well, what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there! You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! You don't believe in Jesus Christ or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots!" Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father! How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a bore! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore!
~ Quagmire explaining his hatred for Brian Griffin while accurately and hypocritically describing him.

Gallery[]

Images[]

Videos[]

Trivia[]

  • Seth McFarlane has stated that Quagmire's voice is based on the high-pitched, fast-talking radio pitchmen of the 1930's-40's radio infomercials.
  • Lois is the only one of his friends' wives (not counting Donna) who he has not had sex with. In the episodes "The Cleveland Loretta Quagmire," "Gone With the Wind," and "BFFs," Quagmire has sex with Loretta, while she is still Cleveland's wife and in "April in Quahog," he tricks Joe into giving him his blessing so he could have sex with Bonnie.
  • Aside from sex, Quagmire also has a passion for improv, a form of theatre which he takes extremely seriously, as seen in "Spies Reminiscent of Us," where he reminisces about how in his day, he was in such comedy groups as "Improvidence," "The Wackademia Nuts," and "Three Smile Island." As of that episode, he also joined his newfound comedy group, "Room for Improv-ment."
  • Quagmire is half-Polish, with his real last name being "Quagglechek."
  • Quagmire harbors every STD known to man.
  • According to a palm reading by Madame Claude, Glenn Quagmire used to be Jack the Ripper in a past life.
  • In "FOX-y Lady," it was revealed that Quagmire was actually 61 years old. In order to maintain his youthful composure, he ingested multiple carrots in any way he knew how, be he eating them, drinking blended carrot juice, or inserting them anally.
    • Quagmire hasn't been able to keep his body entirely undimmed by age, however. In "The Old Man and the Big C," it's revealed that Quagmire is actually bald and wears a wig.
  • Despite claiming to be straight and vehemently denying being gay, there have been a few occasions where Quagmire has willingly engaged in homosexual behavior.
    • In "The Blind Side," Quagmire has sex with an anthropomorphic turtle, who is clearly a male.
    • In "Into Harmony's Way," Quagmire makes out with Peter.
    • In "How the Griffin Stole Christmas," Quagmire stares at Peter's manboobs, while talking to him at a party and loses interest in him, when the latter covers up.
  • A minor running gag in Family Guy is for Lois to say something either intentionally or accidentally sexual and for Quagmire to chime in, quoting "Giggity" or "Alright!", even if he's not in the conversation or present in the scene. Such gags will feature Quagmire randomly showing up in a window or his voice being heard coming from offscreen, with no discernable source or clear indication of where he is.
  • In the episode "The Stewaway", it is revealed that Quagmire lost his virginity at age 6, when he was raped by a female pedophile, who was a plumber that used to frequently work at the Quagmires' house.
  • In Family Guy Video Game!, he commits bestiality on Seabreeze and gets her pregnant. Brian is convicted of impregnating Seabreeze until he is able to prove that Quagmire did it.

Navigation[]

          Family Guy Logo.svg Villains

Griffin/Pewterschmidt Family
Peter Griffin | Stewie Griffin | Brian Griffin | Francis Griffin | Karen Griffin | Carter Pewterschmidt | Patrick Pewterschmidt | Wilhelm Pewterschmidt | Bertram | Pouncy | Silas Pewterschmidt

Brown-Tubbs Family
Donna Tubbs-Brown | Rallo Tubbs-Brown

Recurring Characters
Glenn Quagmire | Ernie the Giant Chicken | Connie DiMico | Principal Shepherd | Herbert the Pervert | James Woods | Diane Simmons | Joyce Kinney | Jesus Christ | Mr. Washee Washee | Doug

Guest Star Characters
Adolf Hitler | The Man in White | Superman | Bill Cosby | Mr. Rogers | Gloria Ironbachs | Jim Kaplan | Satan | Osama Bin Laden | Big Fat Paulie | The Don | Mr. Harrison | Nigel Pinchley | Charlie the Bully | Leafers | Mass Media Murderer | Black Knight | George W. Bush | Hummer Driver | Mel Gibson | Lana Lockhart | Steve Bellows | Doug the Pimple | Joan Quagmire | Bill Clinton | Kyle | Crippletron | Bob Grossbeard | Stewie Wilkes | O.J. Simpson | Miley Cyrus | Deidre Jackson | Franz Gutentag | Evil Stewie | Jeffery Fecalman | Sheriff Nichols | Miss Emily | Charles Yamamoto | The Woodsman | Penelope | Bobby Briggs | Sheldon | Mickey Mouse | Albert | Mahmoud | Sonja | Michael Pulaski | Tracey Bellings | Retep | Jamie, Karen and Becca | Liam Neeson | White Fang | Gretchen Mercer | Mongooses | Rob Gronkowski | Frat Boys | Harvey Weinstein | Donald Trump | Irene Takanawa | George Townsend | Terminator Peter | Terminator Stewie | Terminator Brian | Terminator Lois | Corona Virus | Brick Baker | Seymour | Alana Fitzgerald | Peter Griffin's Hologram

Star Wars Characters
Darth Stewie | Jabba the Swanson | Emperor Carter | Ernie Fett

Video Games
Family Guy Video Game!
Stewie Griffin | Peter Griffin | Brian Griffin | Bertram | Ernie the Giant Chicken

Family Guy: Back to the Multiverse
Bertram | Ernie the Giant Chicken | Long John Peter Griffin | Crippletron | Nurses | Evil Mayor Adam West | Evil Stewie | Mayor McCheese's Bodyguards | Santa Claus | Alien Chickens (Alien Queen Chicken) | The Amishs

Family Guy: The Quest for Stuff
Ernie the Giant Chicken | Stewie Griffin | Retep | Bitch Stewie & Bitch Brian | Big Pete Peter | Jigsaw | Stan Smith

See Also
The Cleveland Show Villains | American Dad! Villains

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