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|~ Quagmire's famous catchphrase.|
|“||You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing, you always say "Oh, I'll get you later," but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of "Catcher in the Rye" and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation of how Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much, he's you! God, you're pretentious! And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer even though you're terrible. You know, I should've known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there's no "a" in the word "definite." And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda, how we should "legalize pot, man," how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well, what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there! You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! You don't believe in Jesus Christ or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots!" Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father! How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a bore! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore!||„|
|~ Quagmire explaining his hatred for Brian Griffin.|
Glenn Quagmire (born Glenn Quagglechek) is a supporting character on Family Guy. He is characterized primarily by his extreme sexual deviancy. He is a protagonist from Season 1 to Season 7, an anti-hero/anti-villain from Season 8 to Season 9, and a protagonist again from Season 10 onwards.
He is voiced by Seth MacFarlane.
Despite being a pervert and hypocrite he has also been shown to have a kinder side. He does whatever it takes to help his friends and protect his sister Brenda, who was often beaten by her abusive boyfriend, Jeffery Fecalman, whom Quagmire hated. Eventually, he was so infuriated by this that he murdered Jeffrey for his abuse against Brenda.
His sexual nature and lust for women is hinted through flashbacks of his life starting from infant stage. It's even hinted that he harbors sexual attraction towards his mother; when Quagmire is seen crying and his mother exposes her chest to breastfeed her son, during which Quagmire stops crying, says "O right!" and suckles from his mother in a lustful way. His mother, Mrs. Quagmire, apparently has the same sexual appetite as her own son. He also expresses an incestuous sexual attraction towards his own daughter AnnaLee Quagmire (whom he gave up for adoption as an infant to another married couple) After bidding his daughter goodbye, Glenn openly admits his perverted views about his daughter to Peter, hoping that when she grows up, he would "bump into her in about 18 years", implying he's hoping for physical contact. Peter is disgusted by this and reminds him that that IS his only biological daughter he is talking about through incest fantasy. Glenn chuckles and tells Peter that he didn't change like Peter hoped for the better and bids the audience goodnight.
In another episode, Quagmire is one of two finalists of the TV show The Bachelorette, he takes his date home to meet his mother. He tells his mother to stop screaming at him, telling her that if she wants to participate in a three-way with Glenn and the bachelorette, she needs to change her tone after yelling at Glenn about Mittens, their family cat.
Quagmire has an extremely perverted and provocative nature, is a user of women, a probable rapist, possible pedophile, necrophile, and zoophile. Throughout the series, Quagmire has been shown to be madly in lust with Lois Griffin. However, all of his attempts to get her attention have failed, usually foiled by Peter and/or Brian. Quagmire is also an antagonist in Seasons 8 and 9 and at the same time he is also a supporting character of those seasons. In those said seasons, he has a deep hatred towards Brian. Since Season 10 onwards his hatred towards Brian has lessened and almost every time they interacted together, they remained neutral to each other.
- During the series, Quagmire had sex with Cleveland's wife, Loretta Brown. When the truth was eventually revealed, Cleveland wanted revenge on Quagmire. In the end, the two made amends and remained close pals, despite the fact that this led to Cleveland and Loretta's divorce.
- In "Blind Ambition", Quagmire was arrested for trying to watch Lois Griffin use the restroom.
- In "Jerome is the New Black" Quagmire unintentionally revealed that he had a starving woman tied up in his basement. This is one of the many examples of his horrible character. Strangely, despite all of this, Joe Swanson has done nothing to stop him even though he is a cop.
- In "Movin' Out (Brian's Song)", he killed the entire Simpson family after trying to have off-screen sexual intercourse with Marge. This was a deleted scene.
- Claims he has "complied with Megan's Law", suggesting he has a record of statutory rape.
- Possibly engages in necrophilia. In "I Take Thee Quagmire" he asked Death to leave Joan's body with him "for another 5 minutes", and in a DVD-only scene in "Airport '07", he is shown jumping half-naked out of a coffin.
- Although Quagmire normally has a soft side for animals (cats in particular), he harbors a seething hatred of Brian Griffin. Quagmire despises everything about him, but has told Brian that he could forgive him for everything if he wasn't "such a bore."
- Quagmire has even physically assaulted Brian for unintentionally sleeping with his sex-changed father. His hatred for Brian is pure hypocrisy, due to the fact that two of the reasons he hates Brian is that he constantly hits on Lois and ignores his son, but the fact is that Quagmire stalks Lois and he has ignored many more children than Brian.
- It was eventually revealed that the reason for Quagmire's vicious actions toward women is because of a heartbreak from his one true love - Cheryl Tiegs. Ever since she dumped him, Quagmire has been dating women in an attempt to fill the void she made. Quagmire also noted that famous actor James Woods stole Tiegs from him, causing Quagmire to develop a hatred for Woods. Brian then went on a date with Tiegs in order to spite Quagmire after his education in Quagmire's class caused a woman named Denise to dump him. In retaliation, Quagmire tries to go out on a date with Brian's ex-girlfriend Jillian Wilcox, but this leads to a fight between Quagmire and Brian, prompting both Jillian and Tiegs to dump them, believing that both Quagmire and Brian have no respect for either of them or any other women, later Quagmire nods to Brian to tell him he can get into the car for a passage to home, but after leaving he leaves him alone, but returns to invest him with the car.
- Quagmire also has sexual interest in Meg Griffin. The most notable case is in "Meg and Quagmire", where Quagmire attempts to "move in for the kill" now that Meg has reached her 18th birthday. He slowly gains Meg's affection, and then eventually drives her to his cabin in the woods, where he attempted to have sex with her. Peter and Lois managed to stop him in the nick of time.
- While on the Bachelorette, Quagmire notably attempted to commit date rape by drugging his date Brooke's drink and attempting to drag her body to another location, only to take off with one of her shoes when he realized their date was being filmed. Later, when Brooke chooses him to progress further during the elimination round, a surprised Glenn makes a confession about the attempted date rape, though he denies it when Brooke asks him to confirm what he said.
- In "Hannah Banana", when Chris was trying to prove that the Evil Monkey exists, he set up a camera to see what happened that night. One of the events he captured was both Peter and Quagmire placing his hand in a bowl of water, causing Chris too piss his pants. Quagmire then processed to punch Chris in the eye before they left his room.
- In "Valentine's Day in Quahog", he kicks a woman out of his house after a night of sex, and she swears he will get what he deserves. Quagmire is then shocked by the woman's hair straightener (which he called her "electric tampon warmer"), which makes everyone see him as a woman. Then he decides to embrace his feminine side for the rest of the episode.
- In "Brian's a Bad Father", he shoots Peter in the head (after Peter had accidentally shot him) so that they can return being friends again.