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This scum Peyton Manning (Saturday Night Live) is driving Cruella insane! IT MUST BE REWRITTEN OR ADDED TO!! So sayeth the great Lord of Darkness Sauron, or he will send Darth Vader to terminate you. Help improve this article by rewriting, expanding, updating the poorly written text of the article.
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Peyton Manning teaching the kids how to break into a car
In a Saturday Night Live parody sketch on the NFL and the United Way, Peyton Manning as himself appears in a mock-commercial showing that he's volunteering in youth groups to help out kids in need. Peyton does this with playing football with the kids to teach them lessons about communication, assertiveness, ethnics, and teamwork. However when he throws the ball too hard to a kid during a play, it hits the boy's buttocks as he collapses, while Peyton says that he sucks to the injured kid. Peyton then gets the kids to start the play over, except for the boy he just injured whom he forced him to go into the porta-potty for a twenty minutes so he won't see his face.
Then Peyton injures another boy the next play, this time in the arm, then sees the previously injured boy in the porta-potty peaking through the door and forces him to close it. Then in the next game Peyton carelessly hits another kid in the head while throwing the football. Peyton later confronts one kid asking if he really wants to lose saying catching the ball as he throws isn't so hard. The kid nods as Peyton kicks him out, then Peyton and the other kids check on the same kid that he just hit on the head during the game.
Peyton does other bad things like showing the children a Star Magazine article about a kid that got "yanked away". He even teaches the kids how to break into a car with wire. One kid asks if he could use his keys, but Peyton lies saying he forgot them. Then as the cops were about to come, Peyton and the kids immediately fled away. He even gets a boy to get a "#1 fan" tattoo with his face on it while the boy is biting down on his belt. Then when a girl came to a woman who she thinks is her mother, Peyton holds her back reminding her that her mother's dead as his way of showing assertiveness, then he starts hitting on the woman. He even tells the kids while drinking beer that he would kill a snitch as his way of showing ethics. The announcer of the commercial says "Spend time with your kids so Peyton Manning doesn't", as Peyton Manning invites the kids to his mansion.
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