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Edward Elliot

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If you ask me, there's not enough beating in this house
~ Edward's view of parenthood
If only I could find a school which would lick David into shape. Not one of those namby-pamby modern places but somewhere that still believes in discipline. When I was young, I knew what discipline meant! These days most children can't even spell it. Whip, whip, whip! That's what they need! A good bit of bamboo on their bums!
~ Edward's villain speech


Edward Elliot is the tertiary antagonist in Anthony Horowitz's Groosham Grange series of novels. Edward Elliot begins the novel as the main antagonist, in fact, then he is eclipsed by John Kilgraw, who replaces him as main antagonist. He ends up being put under a spell by David which freezes him for a few weeks. He then returns in Return to Groosham Grange where he retains the position of secondary antagonist, eclipsed by Mr. Helliwell, the main antagonist of the series.


Origins

Edward was raised under a very strict father, who liked caning him, and sent him to a prep school to be "upper class" and elitist. Edward loved private schooling and to this day he still thinks of himself as somewhat of a schoolboy. He was a very unsocial man, despite being chairman of a bank in the City of London. In fact Edward was a sociopath, or had the beginnings of being one. Edward loathed everyone up to his own wife.


Role in the books

Groosham Grange

Edward Elliot is introduced as the psychotic, abusive father of protagonist David Elliot. Edward idolizes his deceased father, seeing him as the embodiment of good, when in fact his father was the complete opposite. Edward takes pride in the caning his father achieved, saying "It never did me any harm!" and "It made me the man I am!" when in fact he cannot walk because of his caning and is in a wheelchair. As Anthony Horowitz says, this would be sad except Edward hated walking in the first place and loves his wheelchair.

Edward is reading David's school report, which takes the form of insults in the form of puns, (i.e. his head master saying "He'll never get ahead") and Edward then has a rant at David, after almost choking to death from his shock of David's failure. As Edward says, he did the best he could to ensure David became a banker and a privileged member of society, even sending David on visits to the Stock Market, but all he got was David's failure. When David reveals he was expelled, this enrages Edward, who tries to stab his son to death, but in fact stabs his wife, who barely survives. Edward then berates his wife Eileen for David's failure as David races up to the safety of his room.

The next morning, Edward and Eileen are slightly calmer, and have a pleasant breakfast with Edward laughing as he finds who in his bank was bankrupt. Afterwards, Edward remembers his son and he believes he is to blame for his failure. But then the post arrives, and a letter from an unheard-of Norfolk school named Groosham Grange comes in through the mail. Its a prospectus inviting David to attend. The deputy head, John Kilgraw, seems to know what Edward is thinking about caning and all, despite being thousands of miles away, because he writes Edward's exact thoughts on the letter, surprising him, yet delighting Edward as he sees this is the school he is after. He phones Kilgraw and Kilgraw accepts David, saying he can go that afternoon on the train and after a term David will be "a completely different person."

Edward and Eileen do not return until the end of the novel when David returns from the school (for one day's holiday) and by now, as promised, David has adjusted to school life and enrolled as a witch. Using his magic ring, David puts a spell on Edward when he is bullying him to leave him alone during the twelve hours left of his holiday. This spell freezes Edward and Eileen in place, leaving them frozen for about two months.


Return to Groosham Grange

Goodbye David. I'm afraid I have not enjoyed seeing you.
~ Edward's farewell to David

Edward returns in Return to Groosham Grange where he is seen visiting the school for Prize Giving, only to find David has won no prize. He has bought his ratty sister, Mildred, along with him, and Mildred is a mad person who loves the Japanese and hates the British. Edward is cruel to David in Prize Giving, saying what a loser David is. He then scoffs at David before leaving the island.

On the way back, Mildred's bag is slightly heavier than before, and emitting a greenish glow and humming. The car becomes overheated, and when Edward puts on the air conditioning, a snowstorm erupts out to cool them. Edward is furious and blames the management, because "he could've bought a mountain for the amount it cost him." They stop at a motorway restaurant on the way back to Canterbury, where Mildred lives. Unfortunately, the magic of the Unholy Grail, which Mr. Helliwell put in Mildred's bag, begins activating even there, accidentally killing several people and animating the food which has been killed, such as dead chickens coming back to life. In the chaos, Edward and Eileen leave with Mildred, followed by their spaghetti.

On the way out, the magic gets stronger, and soon destroys almost half of Margate town. Then Mildred begins swelling, and because of her love of the Japanese, turns into a Sumo Wrestler. Edward Elliot finally gets his comeuppance where, because he was always a road hog he becomes one.

Seeing her husband as a warty boar makes Eileen wish she were a thousand miles from here, and, the Unholy Grail hears her, sending her to a Chinese rice paddy.


Aftermath

After Mr. Helliwell is exposed as the traitor and David kills him with the spire of Canterbury Cathedral which solves the duel purpose of killing him and erasing the dangerous shadow capable of destroying Groosham Grange, the staff of Groosham Grange concoct a good spell which erases witnesses' memories of the incident, restores the damaged buildings and streets, and returns Eileen, Mildred and Edward Elliot home in their proper forms. Its unknown if Edward redeemed himself following this incident or still continues as a mean-spirited maniac to this day.


Personality

Given Edward's father's habit of locking Edward under the stairs in the cupboard, this gave J.K. Rowling the inspiration for Vernon Dursley who is one of her cruelest villains. Likewise, Edward Elliot is a very cruel man. Its strange that Edward was the one who got shut under the stairs when it is David's counterpart, Harry Potter, who suffers this in the Harry Potter series.

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