Earthlings are residents of the Planet Earth, who always seem to give ToeJam and Earl a hard time.
After the events of the first game, a few earthlings snuck onto the back of ToeJam and Earl's Righteous Rapmaster Rocketship, causing them to invade Planet Funk-O-Tron. They were quickly shipped back to earth in Trap-O-Matic Jars. In "Mission To Earth", they are followers of The Anti-Funk.
"ToeJam and Earl" Earthlings
- Lil' Devils - These are common enemies in the game. Can poke you with their pitchfork, but can easily be defeated with tomatoes. Later returns in Mission To Earth, but cannot be defeated.
- Hamster In A Rolly Ball - A Hamster running around in a rolly ball. Can squish ToeJam or Earl.
- Wahini Girl - These Hawaiian babes will bewitch you with their hip-shaking, causing you to temporarily be unable to move. Later returns in Mission To Earth.
- Cupid - His arrows of love can reverse the player's controls and can only be defeated by falling on top of him. Later returns in Mission To Earth.
- Mailbox Monster - A crazy, possessed post office box with arms and legs. He can't be defeated, so RUN! Later returns in Mission To Earth.
- Crazed Shopper - A strict lady pushing a shopping cart with a child in it. She occasionally shouts "SHUT UP!!" to the child. Later returns in Mission To Earth.
- Nerds - Normally travel in herds, but in Mission To Earth, they ambush you with cyborgs.
- Insane Dentist - As his name implies, an Insane Detist. Takes HUGE steps to do BIG damage. Later returns in Mission To Earth.
- Mower Man - A man smoking a cigar and using a lawnmower. Does CRITICAL damage. Later returns in Mission To Earth.
- Phantom Ice Cream Truck - A Never-stopping Ice Cream Truck that pursuits after ToeJam and Earl and does MAJOR damage.
- Boogiemen - Sneak around, practically invisible, and then startle ToeJam and Earl with a loud 'BOOGIE BOOGIE BOOGIE!". Later return in Panic on Funk-O-Tron and Mission To Earth.
- Moles - These little burrowers can steal ToeJam and Earl's presents. Later return in Mission To Earth.
- Chickens - These chickens wear mortars on their heads and weild a tomato-spewing cannon. Later return in Mission To Earth, but not in flocks.
- Irritated Bees - These bees follow ToeJam and Earl EVERYWHERE! (Except Underwater)
- Sharks - While the Theme from "Jaws" plays, these sharp-tooth meances follow ToeJam and Earl underwater. Later return in Mission To Earth, where it is found out that they were Suba Gear.
"Panic on Funk-O-Tron" Earthlings
- Pigtailed Girl - Run around and kick ToeJam and Earl in the shins if they get too close. Later return in Mission to Earth, but in different variations than just pigtails.
- Baseball Boy - Run around and throws tomatoes at ToeJam and Earl.
- Tourists - Come in both Male and Female forms. They flashblind ToeJam and Earl with the cameras around their necks. Oddly, Only The Female Tourist returns in Mission To Earth.
- Cow Phantom - A Haunted Cow in the Afterlife who can posses ToeJam and Earl and make them moo. Later returns in Mission To Earth.
- Jackhammer Man - Shakes the ground (and also ToeJam and Earl) with his Jackhammer. Later returns in Mission To Earth.
- Rich Lady with Poodles - If the Rich Lady is attacked, the Poodles will become rabid and pursuit after ToeJam and Earl. The Rich Lady later returns in Mission To Earth, but the Poodles are replaced with Pomerainians.
- Duck on a Magic Carpet - A duck wearing googles and a helmet and riding a Magic Carpet. ToeJam and Earl must duck out of the way of him if he is to swoop down.
- Nasty Willaim - A Boy named Willaim floating on a pair of balloons and spewing spitballs at ToeJam and Earl.
- The Naked Man In The Cardboard Box - A Opera-Singing Man wearing no clothes, but a box instead. Can hide in his box to be protected from being attacked.
- Insane Fairy - A fairy that drops a Magical Laughing Powder on ToeJam and Earl, leaving them immoblie for a few seconds.
"Mission To Earth" Earthlings
- Country Singer - A Cowboy with a guitar. Can breifly turn ToeJam and Earl into Yodelers.
- Yetis - Can disguise themselves as GOOD Earthlings, and then poke ToeJam and Earl with sharp pencils.
- Cheerleader - Has the same attack as the Pigtailed Girl.
- Medusa Baby - A Baby with fangs and snakes on his head. Has to ability to randomize ToeJam and Earl's Presents.
- Ninja Bunny - A Kung-Fu-Knowing, Karate-Kicking Bunny who can also disguise himself as a regular bunny.