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|“||WAIT! You may be wondering, "Why the red suit?" Well that how bad guys can't see me bleed. This guy's got the right idea; he wore the brown pants!||„|
|~ My quote from the amazing trailer for my own Deadpool movie. Go watch it!|
Oh, hey there fans! In case you've been too sheltered to have ever been introduced to me, my name is Deadpool, the best, most badass superhuman mercenary to ever walk the pages of comic books (and whatever other media I've appeared in...).
And although I'm technically an anti-hero (fans just love those), but since this is a villains wiki, I'll just tell you about the times that I've used my awesomeness to serve the Dark Side. (no, not this guy, or this douchebag either.).Cause you see, given my amoral nature (yes, I read your page on that), I can choose which side I'm on in the great cosmic battle between good and evil! (sounded pretty impressive there, huh?) And yes, I know that the villains always lose, but hey, being a bad guy is just so much more fun!
So without further ado, I give you........ (drumroll please)
Deadpool's glorious description - because I rock
OK, first things first. I'm Deadpool, as I said. And I just may be the most bad-ass, butt kicking person ever to live on the universe! I have fans everywhere. Yeah, I'm famous for my splendid costume, love of weapons, humor, and just about everything really! I'm basically a person mixed with 10 pounds, no , 100! Well, whatever the highest number is of awesome! I'm not going to tell you too much now, but if you want, read it on the wikipedia or something!
Deadpool's shitty yet most evil moments, DUH!
Hulk Vs. WolverineIn that one animated movie, Hulk Vs., I appeared in the Wolverine segment, working as a villain alongside The Professor, Sabretooth, Lady Deathstrike, and the bedwetter himself, Omega Red for the Weapon X people. My role was to basically just say funny stuff and shoot people. Cause that's what I do. But I did fight Wolvie and shoot at innocent bystanders, in case you were wondering how I was a villain. I did kinda become neutral later on, but that's only natural. And yes babies creep me out.
(By the way, Omega Red does wet the bed. Honestly.)
It was also the first time that they got Nolan North to dub me. I mean, he and I go great together, like me and CHIMICHANGAS!!!
X-Men Origins: WolverineOK, just throwing this out there, I like comic books more than movies. Becuase if I am goin to be in a movie, they better get me motherf*cking right! Apparently, they did not. So this one, I was the tertiary antagonist in this film. This version of me is COMPLETELY different from the real me. For one, he doesn't have a mouth. (Yeah, the 'Merc With The Mouth" without a mouth. Mind-boggling, huh?) And he also was given more powers than what I actually have (not that that's a bad thing...). And he didn't have any guns or swords. Seriously! Deadpool without guns and swords! Instead, he had two blades that came out of his arms, Baraka-style. They also gave me Cyclops freakin' Optic Vision. But luckily they managed to keep my teleportation ability (By the way, I'm right behind you. Psyche!). And he also worked for William Stryker (who they also changed for the movie. But you can read his page for that.) And of course they didn't give him my signature costume, prompting the fan nick-name of "Dude-Peel". Yep.
In the end he was decapitated by Wolverine, who had for some reason, teamed up with his mortal enemy Sabretooth to fight him. Oh yeah, that reason is because Deadpool was just too flippin' powerful for them! (See, even when they change me completely, I'm awesome.) But hey, you want to know the weirdest and creepiest thing that happens to Weapon XI? (They did call him Deadpool once or twice, but they mostly called him Weapon XI) You may say no, but I know you want to know! After End Credits are finish rolling you see Weapon XI's hand literally grabbing his own freakin' head (Keep in mind XI's head was decapitated). But, that's not the scariest part, oh, no, no, no, no..... The scariest part is when Weapon XI open's his eyes, somehow regrows his mouth and whispers, "Shhhhhh....." (Scary). But at LEAST they remembered that I break the freaking fourth wall! Man I look weird in that movie. Seriously, If I made Deadpool in that crap movie, I would have mixed him with me and a ton of awesome.
Deadpool (2016)Well, there is no need for this section anymore. Check here for a full biography of the new and improved Daredevil! Wait, wrong hombre. The new and improved... Doctor Doom! Shit, hold on, guys... Deadpool! That is more like it.
Hey folks, click here if you want to see a more extended version of the alternate version of me: Deadpool (Ultimate Marvel). But I doubt you will ever do that.In the alternate dimension of the "Ultimate" Universe, also known as "Earth-1610", they change me once again, from your friendly neighborhood mercenary, into an envisionary, anti-mutant hunter, who just happens to be a cyborg. With no face. See? Still awesome. The only downside is, they took away my sense of humor and replaced it with this kind of stuff. Ah well. Still awesome.
And on a related note...
Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions
Normally I'm not considered one of Spidey's "regular villains", but they put me as a boss in this video game anyway. I'm awesome like that. So in this, I'm the previously mentioned Ultimate Deadpool, with my own personality. Double awesome. And I get my hands on one of those tablet thingies, which gives me tons of power. So I lure Spidey onto my game show, Pain Factor, with the tablet as the prize. So he fights my henchmen , swings around my place, blahblahblah, until he fights me, the boss. (And just so you know, I'm the hardest boss in the game, even harder than the final boss Mysterio. Just to warn you.) But my villain status is from my show. Cause it's the only show where you compete.... for your life!
Oh, apparently, the reason why Ultimate me got the standard me's personality is due to being crazy following his last Spidey battle. Also, they hired Nolan North again to voice me here.
Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe
Oh yeah, you didn't think it was possible. Well, neither did those hero guys until this version of me (later dubbed "Dreadpool") was warped by Psycho Man who thought tinkering with his itty-bitty messed up mind would make me into the ultimate assassin and minion and henchmen, etc, etc, etc. And it worked a little too well, let me tell ya! Yet another twisted version of me ended up killing EVERYBODY in the whole Marvel Universe starting with Psycho Man himself-talk about irony! (If the title wasn't enough of a hint, of course. I swear those writers always go for the most obvious) Yep, that nasty version of me killin' fine folks like Spider-Dork and the Punisher, all for proving just how much of an awesome assassin he became (and to stick it to those creators)! And at the end, that me used said awesome power and jumped into your Marvel Comics office. They were jabbering about some Merc With a Mouth comic when they said he'd be noticing some otherworldly presence watching me. Yeah, THAT MEANS YOU. Oh, and he kills them.
But because he had some twisted goal about ending everything, that me went after the classic fiction world in Deadpool: Classics Killustrated. And he damn near succeeded. But don't worry, folks! Yours truly is getting to the bottom of this. In Deadpool Kills Deadpool, I'm gonna teach this twisted version of me some things. Like how I don't kill kids as he murdered the Power Pack. Ooooh, I am gonna fucking love taking this evil me down.
Well, as it turns out, a lot of me's were getting in on the action in Deadpool Kills Deadpool. Lady Deadpool, Pandapool, and countless others-some awesome, some lame, yadda yadda-the important thing was that there we so many me's! And Dreadpool started killing them. And while killing me's is something some cheap wannabe version of me should never do, it got personal when he killed Dogpool. (He was so adorable!) Helped by some cosmic fanboy who had the hots for Lady Deadpool (I guess I can't blame him there), I was able to go on some awesome killing adventures before me and, well, the other me's got into a lot of fights with other me's and so many me's died...yeah, alternate universes can be very confusing, can't they?
Eventually, it was down to just me and Pandapool when the fanboy sacrificed himself to get us closer to Dreadpool's base. We met up with some more me's, killed some more me's and sadly lost everyone but me in the process. Even Pandapool! (What can I say? I like the cute and cuddly me's, especially when they can rip people open with razor-sharp claws!) So it was down to me and Dreadpool, surrounded by so many dead me's-us's-you get the idea, lot of dead Deadpools around. He was going on about how he wanted to end it all because we'd just keep going or some pretentious existential stuff. I got stabbed, but for some reason I healed. Yeah, turns out Dreadpool wasn't the only one who had reality-warping abilities. So I kicked his ass and gave him a good ol' Jiminy Cricket lecture about how he wasn't really wanting to destroy everything and that he could atone for all the wrong he's done. Somehow, that demented ol' me seemed to catch on and understand that maybe he doesn't have to be a big bad Deadpool anymore. I offered him a chance for redemption.
And then I cut his head off and doused him in acid to finish the job. What? Don't look at me like that. He had it coming! You might have started forgiving him, but I don't forgive people who murder kids, the cool me's, and my friends, especially the cute and cuddly animal ones. Let that be a lesson to you, kids!
Yeah, Spidey's got this new show of his, along with a some spank-blanket team consisting of Nova, Power Man, White Tiger and Iron Fist. Also, Web-Head's got this new gig of constantly breaking the fourth wall (which is MY gig!) every time he needs to bitch about somethin' crappy in his life. (Oh, and also teach us morals, etiquette, all sorts of bull that somehow makes him awesome (though NOT near as awesome as me, just so you know)).
Anyway, I made my first full appearance in that one episode where I hijacked the show and renamed it Ultimate Deadpool. Here, he and I team to take down Taskmaster and swipe back encrypted S.H.I.E.L.D. files on the secret identities on every known superhero. Later on it turns out I was the one who stole the files in the first place to sell off to some super villain for an ass-load of cash. (Yeah, still the badguy here.) We fought each other in a battle of the puns, and I was clearly winning, but Spidey somehow cheated with that "great power, responsibility, yadda yadda" crap. So I decided, "screw this" and flew off with my jet pack back home to my bed made of MONEY (though I might have set my own ass on fire during my awesome getaway). My appearance here got me the number 1 spot on Watchmojo.com's Top 10 Fourth Wall Breaks on TV, true story.
I also showed up on a magazine cover during that episode with Wolverine, but that was before I made my badass appearance. Here, they had me voiced by Will Friedle; who made me sound like a total hopped-up Ron Stoppable (whoop, wrong franchise).
X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse
In this video game, once that big, bad, blue bastard on the game title wrecked New York, I was drafted by Mister Sinister, and found the X-Men as they explored the Big Apple. Since I'm no tour guide, I was not there to lead those mutants who looked like the cast of a bad sitcom somewhere. No, I'm a frickin' boss bottle! Pulled my katanas and tried to kill them so dead that they would reincarnate as corpses! And if players beat the game, I'm unlocked for later playthroughs to make Xavier's folks infinitely more awesome. And yet I'm still a boss battle, making for amusing moments.
My voice was courtesy of John Kassir, not the first time he liked to welcome people to the cemetery.
Deadpool and Deathstroke
Now, there's been a nasty rumor going around that I'm a copy of that DC villain, Deathstroke.
And that rumor is true. BUT... it was on purpose! And Deathstroke is a copy of Taskmaster. At least, that's what I've heard. I can kinda get how you can get Taskmaster out of Deadpool though.
But yeah, how am I a copy of him? Well, similar name, costume, powers, weapons, job, etc, etc.... Just read his page and you'll see how.
Speaking of which, just recently, Screwattack announced that a new Death Battle is going to occur on December 12. And guess who's attending that Death Battle? ME! Deadpool! And guess who I'm going up against! Deathstroke! Now we are going to see who the superior mercenary is! Screwattack, if you're listening to this, you better have me win, or else.....PFFT! Of course I'm gonna win! I'm awesome!
Well, Whaddaya know? I WON! I already knew I was gonna win anyway. I wasn't about to lose to some Captain Hook reject! I didn't even need to change the script this time! [phone rings to the Guile's theme music] Oh, hold on a sec. [answers phone] Yello? ...Huh? ...Wait; you're also doing a One Minute Melee of us too!? Bitchin! Now, everyone can see me waste this douchenozzle all over again... In one minute! YAY!!!!!
One Minute Melee
[Deadpool's head lies upside-down in the corner while Deathstroke walks away with the briefcase] ...You know, If I still had my limbs attached to me, I would be having a loooong (and very entertaining) conversation with the people at Screw Attack right about now.
Deadpool and Deadshot
Another rumor that has been going around is that I am similar to the DC villain, Deadshot. True we both have 'Dead' in our names and we both use guns, but that's where the similarities end. Read his page to see how different we are.
Deadpool vs Boba Fett (Epic Rap Battles of History)
Well, it's about time those asswads from ERB finally invited me to bless their series with my impeccable vocal talents! In this one, they have me facing off against that little daddy's boy from Star Wars, and I totally wiped the dance floor with that Temuera Morrison wannabe! (Though he did have some pretty good verses, I'll give him that. Good thing I can regenerate.)
Deadpool and Pinkie Pie
Yeah, you know that new MLP: FiM bull that gotten so freakishly popular since late 2010? Well, apparently those crazy-ass fans, "bronies" I think they're called, have been pairing me up with one of the main characters, a fellow wall-breaker and and party-goer named Pinkie Pie. Now, I know, it seems we'd make great friends, and it seems that I enjoy that little wierdo's company, but the truth is... I HATE being with that crazy little cunt! Seriously, putting her and me together is like putting glitter into a bazooka!
Hey, watsup? Now where was I? Oh yeah. I swear, if I have to share one more picture, video, or fanfic with that pink little douche-wipe, I'm gonna take this gun with a single carbonadium bullet, point it directly towards my head and... Wait, WHAT THE FUCK!!!?
Oh Wade. How can your article have a section about me and not have... well, me?
Uh, I don't know, maybe because it's MY article, you little nightmare!
Sorry, but you must be thinking of someone else. Well, I just thought that- [lots of nonsensical friendship-related crap that the writer is too lazy to continue, with Deadpool pointing the gun to his head] -which reminds me; did you know that Death Battle is going to have us fight next?
Yeah, I guess since we've gotten so popular together, that now the audience wants who win in a fight between the two of us!
Oh... Well, that is actually a fantastic idea! Oh, I'm SO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO looking forward to this fight!
Well, you better bring your A-game, cause I'm bringing my- [spoiler] -as well as my- [more spoilers] And don't forget my secret weapon...
UP-up-up-up-up! Let's not get crazy. (Not yet, anyway) We'll see if you've got what it takes to take down the Merc with the Mouth himself! In the meantime, I'm gonna have that conversation with Screw Attack that I promised a while back, just to make sure nothing too crazy happens in this brawl.
Okay, now you're the confusing me with someone else!
(Deadpool and Pinkie Pie drunk on apple-cider and still partying while everyone-else left (mostly due to... well, Deadpool).)
AH-hahaha-*hic*-hahaha... That.. was one *hic* hell of a party!
I know, *hic* right? I especiall... specially liked it when you *hic* gave Applejack that "wild ride!" Hahahaha-*hic*-hahaha!
Yeah, I just... thought it'b time to show that country *hic* what it's like to take the "bull-horn" for once! Haha!
(To everyone reading, this ISN'T a sex joke. Deadpool dared Applejack to ride him like a human would a horse, only flipped around. Her ass was still sore afterwards, however.)
Anyway, listen. I... I'm sorry I was kind of a dick.
Oh, there's no need.
I'm serious! I thought that hanging around a pink girl horse would damage my rep. But you know what? Screw that noise! Let those dickwads at the conventions say what they want! You're the best friend a mentally-unstable badass like me could ever have!
(Deadpool and Pinkie hug each-other in a warm embrace.)
Welp, thanks for the party Pinkie, but I got places to be and corpses to make. See ya!
Okay! LATER, WADER!
Oh, and uh... When you see my girlfriend, tell her I said hi. Can you do that?
Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye! ...Wait. Who is your... (Hears something fizzling, looks behind and sees a bomb tied to her flank.) OH, HORSE SHI-
(Pinkie explodes into a million pieces while the announcer shouts out "K.O.!")
...What? Did you guys honestly think that I would actually want that little shit spoiling my image? I'm FUCKING DEADPOOL for Celestia's sake!
Anything else? ...No?
Well, I think that's it... unless I come up with more villainous exploits. Now get lost. I need to go petition the Marvel wiki people to let me write my own page there. (God, I wish I was in Street Fighter. Oh, and Mortal Kombat too! That'd be FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!) Now WHERE ARE MY CHIMICHANGAS?!!! I'M HUNGRY!!!!!