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Captain Hero

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Captain Leslie Hero, best know as Captain Hero is technically the main character from the animated series Drawn Together. Despite being depicted as a "superhero," arguably the most often wears a behavior of a villainous character, and almost always uses his superhero talents in the worst situations, or using them to their advantage. Practically it is a satire and parody of Superman.

Biography

Captain Hero is a sociopathic, chauvinistic, perverted, antiheroic, heteroflexible, and lecherous parody of Superman (and other superheroes), with a visual style taken from the cartoons of Bruce Timm and Max Fleischer. Most of his humor revolves around his perverse sexual tastes, his tendency toward violence, or his stupidity; there is also a running joke in which he is heavily suggested to be pansexual and interested in necrophilia. Among reality TV archetypes, he represents the macho egotist. He is voiced by Jess Harnell. In original artwork before the show's release, Captain Hero wore tights, and his suit was slightly darker in color and had a different symbol on it. Of all the housemates, Captain Hero saw the most character development over the series. In the first season, Hero was a simple character with a fairly minor role on the show; he was introduced in the first episode as simply "another person in the house", and as Harnell puts it, his personality was that of an "overgrown frat guy" whose libido was his main source of humor. Over time, however, he grew considerably more complex; consequently, his role was expanded to the point where he became the most frequently used on the show. "The Other Cousin" was the first episode to focus on Hero, but it was the second season episode "Little Orphan Hero" that proved to be a major turning point for the character. In the episode, Hero, after suffering a nervous breakdown, meets his parents for the first time and sees many long-dormant emotional issues rise to the surface. Subsequent episodes would expand on these developments. By the time of "A Very Special Drawn Together Afterschool Special", it seemed perfectly natural for Hero to be cast in the role of the sensitive and caring (if overly emotional) nurturer. Captain Hero has not been seen doing many activities commonly associated with superheroes. He has a "arch nemesis" who is a parody of Lex Luthor, whose "villainous" activity always involves tricking Hero into washing his testicles in which he says each time "you bolls are clean". He is able to fly (although many jokes involve him not using that ability or it not working as expected) and punch through walls, laser vision (which he used in very few episodes), and once used his "Hero shield" (which involved using an innocent woman to shield himself from bullets). Despite his questionable abilities as a superhero, the world has seemingly been very dependent on Captain Hero to save the day, as it is a common sight to see news reports on disasters and the comment "Captain Hero, where are you?!" According to Harnell, Hero's most recognizable line is “save yourselves!” When ever there is trouble, he takes off and leaves those who he had left behind to die.

Villainous Acts

Season 1

  • In Gay Bash, Captain Hero hanged Bizzaro Captain Hero.
  • In The Other Cousin, Captain Hero trampled an old lady in a wheelchair.
  • In Terms of Endearment, Captain Hero used his X-Ray vision to watch Clara, Foxxy, and Toot in the shower and continued to watch Foxxy all the time. Eventually, his X-ray vision gave her a brain tumor which caused her to pass out and turn into a racist stereotype. When she first passed out, he attempted to rape her, without feeling and sensitivity at first and was stopped by the rest of the housemates. However, Captain Hero felt very guilty about this afterwards and even crippled himself to accept what he deserves. However, at the end of the episode, he altered all of the space time continuum and recreated the universe to make everyone in there made out of boobs. However, he realized what an asshole he was at the end.

Season 2

  • In Foxxy vs The Board of Education, Captain Hero tore off Toot's head.
  • In Little Orphan Hero, Captain Hero caused a ton of crimes. He threw his home planet into the sun and killed all of the Zebulonians who lived there. He also raped a robot, his parents, and Xandir, tears out Xandir's intestines and ate an unborn whale fetus.
  • In Captain Hero's Marriage Pact, Captain Hero threatened to kill Wooldoor twice and was responsible for the death of Unusually Flexible Girl.
  • In Ghostesses in the Slot Machine, Captain Hero gambled on his own battles and beat up and old lady and stole a chip from her.
  • In Super Nanny, Captain Hero caused a large variety of crimes once again. He destroyed a Supermarket with his laser eyes, blowing it to bits and terrorizing all of the people in there, and later destroyed a restaurant and snapped the neck of his waiter, killing him. He later got into an argument with Toot, beat her multiple times, eventually tore her arm off, and finally killed her and buried her body underground. However, Captain Hero did learn his lesson after he was done. However, he was still seen doing villainous things afterwards. It was mentioned that there were some wadded up tissues and a book of crime scene photos under his bed, and he was also shown to have a woman's dismembered finger in his mouth. He later refused to save the day when Super Nanny was trying to dominate the White House. However, this was only because he was forced not to, and he later did defeat her afterwards.
  • In Captain Girl, Captain Hero ignored a cable car that plummeted to the ground, where everyone died and blamed it on Wooldoor.
  • In Xandir and Tim Sitting in a Tree, he smashed his head against Xandir's skull, making it bleed and killed him, by firing a cannon at him and attacked Xandir multiple times for dating Tim.
  • In The Lemon-AIDS Walk, Captain Hero started taking steroids which caused him to go on a roid rage, where he stole money from all of his housemates, and even physically attacked Xandir while he was in the shower, smashed Ling-Ling with a hammer, killing him, and also tore out Toot's intestines while she was sleeping, and stole all of Foxxy's money. When confronted, he attacked and eventually killed all of his other housemates, including a 12 year old girl and a donkey. At the AIDS walk, Captain Hero beat up and killed all of the other walkers and blew up a lot of things with his powers.
  • In A Very Special Drawn Together Afterschool Special, Captain Hero played Xandir's father who beat his wife and gay bashed his son. He later switched over to playing Xandir's Mom, where he killed Mary Lou Slutzki (Clara) by throwing her through a wall and hanging her from a tree.

Season 3

  • In Freaks & Greeks, Captain Hero once again caused a huge series of crimes. He was first seen tearing out a man's heart in a flashback, and possibly killed the mailman, by crushing him behind the door. He also vandalized the Georgeopolis' house by breaking their china as well as committing the sexual act of fucking a eclair in front of the family. He, Wooldoor, and Xandir all then teamed up to cause multiple crimes against the Geogeopolis family, TPing their house, breaking into their home, stealing Mrs. Georgeopolis' panties and the TV, smashing their car with baseball bats while the family was in it, leaving bloody gashes all over the family, and revealing that they were KKK members by burning a cross on their lawn, trying to get them to leave their town. The only punishment that he received for it was getting a restraining order from them. In response, Captain Hero then once again broke into the house and kidnapped Georgina and had her imprisoned in a cage and treated like a got for several days. In the process of this, Captain Hero had Xandir locked in the trunk of their car for several days. He attempted to light their lawn of fire by pouring gasoline on their lawn but stopped in the middle of doing so to return Georgina to her parents, not because he realized that he had caused a crime, but because he realized that she was not a goat. Shortly after returning her to her family, he kidnapped her once again and drove off with her for no reason and most likely molested her and got away with it all Scott free.
  • In Wooldoor Sockbat's Giggle-Wiggle Funny Tickle Non-Traditional Progressive Multicultural Roundtable!, Captain Hero teamed up with The Terminator and throughout the episode, he and him killed a ton of people and destroyed a lot of buildings in attempt to hunt down and kill Wooldoor only out of homophobia.
  • In Spelling Applebee's, Captain Hero caused numerous extreme car crashes by destroying streets of heavy traffic with his superpowers. In total, he caused 7 car crashes. (8 if you count the one where he stopped a car crash from happening by picking a car up off the ground and then discarding it behind him, where it blew up, killing a family of three with it). He also broke the legs of two drunk teenagers and left them on the ground.
  • In N.R.A.y Ray, Captain Hero bought a bunch of assault weapons and started killing thousands of animals which even included Wooldoor.
  • In Mexican't Buy Me Love, Captain Hero threw shit at Xandir's house.
  • In Lost in Parking Space Part One, Captain Hero and Spanky teamed up against the rest of the housemates in the van and held everyone hostage in the van, threatening to shoot anyone who leaves with a gun. After he seized control over everyone, he and Spanky both built a fire for themselves and left everyone else to die in the cold.
  • In Lost in Parking Space Part Two, Captain Hero, along with the rest of the housemates (sans Clara and Foxxy) attempted to kill Xandir as well as eating the dead corpse of Ling-Ling. He also used his laser eyes on the engine of the van, attempting to blow it up.
  • In Charlotte's Web of Lies, Captain Hero was drunk driving and he ran over a homeless man, leaving him severely injured and mutilated. He then urinated on his body and shot him in the leg with a grappling hook, which he used to drag him behind the van, as he drove off to the store to get more beer.
  • In Breakfast Food Killer, Wooldoor mentioned that Captain Hero sodomizes him if he ever sits in his chair. He was later seen diddling a dead corpse in the graveyard.
  • In Drawn Together Babies, Captain Hero served as the main antagonist for the episode. He tattled on the other babies for throwing their diapers against the wall and teamed up with Charlotte the babysitter against them. He was also seen diddling Charlotte's corpse at the end of the episode.
  • In Nipple Ring-Ring Goes to Foster Care, Captain Hero managed to contact his 12 year old self from the past and he did nothing but abuse him the whole time. Captain Hero pestered his 12 year old self, telling him to do stupid, humiliating, and painful things to torture him as a joke. These things were fucking a hero sandwich four times, dosing the Barn dance with gasoline and lighting it on fire, which eventually drove him to the brink of suicide. He also told him to take a picture of himself fucking a hero sandwich so that he could see it in the future. This got him arrested as this was technically pedophilia and he was thrown in jail. His last request was to "go screw a garbage disposal" which he did. Given that his 12 year old self if the same person as he is, Captain Hero also committed the crimes of public sexual intercourse with a sandwich, lighting a building on fire which killed tons of people, attemptive suicide, and hiding child pornography in public.
  • In American Idol Parody Clip Show, Captain Hero raped a little boy and killed him.

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