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|“||Oh s**t! I was just about to pop my cookies!||„|
|~ Bletch's first words when Heidi was knocking on his door.|
He is performed by Peter Vere-Jones.
Bletch is a blue walrus who is a businessman who runs the show. He is Heidi's boyfriend who tries to cheat on her by choosing Samantha (a cat) as his mate. He has two minions, Trevor (a rat) and Barry (a bulldog).
Bletch first appears in his office having sex with Samantha, but was forced to hide her when Heidi enters Bletch's office and tells him that Trevor insulted her. Bletch calms Heidi down, and then she left his office.
Bletch deals drugs with Cedric (a warthog) and Louie (a mangy dog). After they double-crossed Bletch to find out that the drugs were borax (which Dennis the anteater became a victim when he sniffed up borax and died), he ordered his henchmen to kill Louie. Bletch, Trevor, and Barry then go after the drugs and Barry killed Cedric by stabbing him with a knife. After they collected the drugs, they encounter a giant spider and bit Barry's head off, killing him. On their way back to the theater, Bletch and Trevor encounter Mr. Big, and Trevor took him out by driving Bletch's car into his mouth and exit out of his anus.
After that, Bletch dumps Heidi. Angry and heartbroken, Heidi goes on a rampage by killing everybody (except for Lucille, Robert, Arthur, Sidney, and Sebastian) with a machine gun. After Heidi kills Trevor, she sticks the gun in Bletch's mouth and shoots him after he dumps her.
- Trevor the Rat - Bletch Henchman
- Barry the Bulldog - Bletch Henchman
- Samantha the Cat - Bletch Molls