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Bible Dude

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Bible Dude! Bible Dude!

Gets you into a praying mode He can soar through the air Like the red sea he parts his hair Look out Her comes the Bible Dude!

~ Bible Dude' theme song
Bible Dude was an antagonist on Comedy Central. Appearing on the fictional network PAX, he is a parody of spiritual superheroes who appear on children's religious shows. His fictional show explains his real name is Matthew Isiah Laviticus and that he is a janitor working at a church. One day he slipped and went unconscious. But a spill of holy water went into his ear, granting him religious superpowers. He then proclaimed himself Bible Dude. Each "Episode" was about Bible Dude being summoned by Jesus(Whom he refers to as "The Boss") to "save" a group of young people from "Sin" when in truth he was preventing them from having fun activities. He does this by reading a passage from the bible(That has nothing to do with the situation) and the people fall for his lies. When one of them protests, Bible Dude zaps them with his bible until only their skeleton remains.

Episodes

Bible Dude at Party

Jesus alerts Matthew of a teen party and Matthew suspects there could be temptation among the guests. When one of the guests reveals he has a bottle of liquor, he invites the rest to join a club of his, but only if they drink from it. Bible Dude arrives and reads a biblical phrase that has nothing to do with drinking or partying in the slightest. When the guest with the bottle says the phrase has nothing to do with drinking or made any sense, Bible Dude calls the guest "Satan's best friend" and turns the liquor into water. The guest says he hates Bible Dude, who proceeds to kill him. The guests thank Bible Dude. Bible Dude says it was not him, it was "God's love". The guests cheer and one them says he knows God loves him even though he's gay. Bible dude kills the gay teen without a second's hesitation and says that was his doing, all while the remaining guests applaud.

Bible Dude at Music Store

Jesus alerts Matthew of a group of teens at a music store about to purchase a Hilary Duff CD. Matthew is so shocked he fears he cannot do this alone. Jesus sends another Superhero named Choir Boy to help Matthew out. Upon arriving at the store, Choir Boy warns one of the teens that Hilary Duff music comes directly from Satan himself. When the teen suggest that Choir Boy is overreacting, Bible Dude kills her. When Bible Dude asks if anyone else has any protests, the remaining teens shake their heads. Bible Dude then recites an irrelevant Bible Quote. The teens then "realize" that if Hilary Duff music is played backwards, the devil is summoned. Choir Boy plays the CD backwards and the devil is summoned. Choir Boy then defeats the devil with CD's while one teen says that Hilary Duff music kills people you love

Bible Dude takes on Net Pirates

Jesus alerts Matthew of a Teen Football player downloading music of the internet and has convinced his fellow players to do the same. Upon arrival, Bible Dude reads a completely irrelevant passage from the Bible. One player responds by saying the passage says stealing music threatens the global economy. The downloading player protests, and is killed by Bible Dude. The coach arrives and complains that he now can't watch the player shower. Before Bible Dude can kill the coach, the coach says he's not gay, but a pedophile. Bible Dude spares him saying "If it's good enough for the pope, it's good enough for me."

Bible Dude Holiday

On Christmas Day, Jesus alerts Matthew of a Christian boy who is upset that his new sweater is not the color he wanted it to be. Matthew calls that "Coveting of another color". Bible Dude arrives at the boy's house while he and his family are playing the "Stone the SInner" board game. Bible Dude asks the boy if there is something he'd like to tell his parents about the sweater. The boy says no, and Bible Dude warns him that lying is a sin. He then reads a completely irrelevant passage from the Bible. The boy says he takes the passage as it does not matter the color of the present that you get, it's God's love that you get. The boy's sister asks how Bible Dude was aware of the sweater. Bible Dude replies with "I see you when your sleeping and I now when your awake." The mother then compares Bible Dude to Santa Clause, and is killed instantly by Bible Dude. The husband then says it's God's way of telling him he can now marry his golf partner, and then dies by Bible Dude's power. He then leaves the oprhaned sibling s with "Merry Christmas."

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