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|“||I just, uh, like to let people down. I like to hear people's disappointed voices, I guess, I don't know if that makes me weird or whatever.||„|
|~ Amir admitting he has elements of evil.|
Amir Valerie Blumenfeld is one of the two titular protagonists of the online CollegeHumor series Jake and Amir (which later became an official television series), the other being Jake Hurwitz. Though he is one of the main characters, he can be considered the main antagonist of the show, committing several crimes that range from petty to very serious. He's even stated himself that he enjoys hearing the disappointment in people's voices and has a borderline psychopathic obsession with his co-worker, Jake, who is normal and rarely ever criminal like.
Amir is supposed to be a highly fictionalized version of his actor and writer, Amir Shmuel Blumenfeld.
Villainous Acts committed by Amir
- Purposely and brutally abused a dog to the point where it nearly killed him, other people, and even ate other smaller dogs.
- Attempted to steal a woman's phone and taunt her, an action in which he paid severely for.
- Kidnapped a police officer's baby but was instead praised since the officer thought he was trying to save it, even though Amir texted Jake that he purposely napped the child.
- Stabbed Jake in the stomach with a knife, almost killing him.
- Gouged out an already blinded elder man's eyes after he tried to give him "plastic surgery".
- Brutally murdered several animals, even strangling a chameleon while coldly staring into its eyes, just to create and then wear a crudely made collection of clothes.
- Ran over and murdered a girl scout.
- Verbally abused and physically harassed several co-workers, both male and female, an uncountable amount of times.
- One time in a Hardly Working sketch he slapped his boss Ricky for no reason other than the fact that he said to Jake that he was slipping up on his last article. Because of this Ricky had to fire him but Amir begged him to let him keep his job. When Ricky gave him 2 more chance after rehiring him he slapped him calling Ricky a "fucking push over".
- Purposely starved his pet snake and taunted it by dancing with dead mice all over his body, another act in which he paid dearly for.
- He tied up one of his co-workers and locked him in a closet for hours after stealing his ketchup costume.
- Called a fake bomb threat to Jake's little brother's school.
- Lied to a police officer saying he was a political activist. He then stole the officer's baton and smacked him with it, where Amir was tased afterwards.
- Was arrested for not paying an extremely large amounts of reckless driving tickets.
- Stole all the toys at a toy drive.
- Kicked Jake in the jaw so hard that it severed his tongue.
- Lied under oath several times and actually broke out laughing twice while doing so.
- Has a 2 million dollar debt that he has yet to pay.
- Poisoned Jake.
- Killed a few of his co-workers when throwing hard objects in the office.
- Attempted to squeeze the innards out of a live bunny out of its anus and use the intestines for jam.
- Drank some of Jake's blood when he was donating it to a blood bank.
- Stepped on a baby.
- In a Full Benefits sketch while at a bar he murdered one of the buss boys. After all of these horrendous acts how has he not been sent to prison for life?